


One Gay At a Time

by TheSubtextMachine



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Group Chat Fic, The pronouns squad gets a group chat fic, misadventures in matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-03-14 10:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 20,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13588326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSubtextMachine/pseuds/TheSubtextMachine
Summary: I loved Elena's online friends and decided to make a group chat fic. They’re all gay nerds who have big feelings. Matchmaking ensues, and it goes semi-well.





	1. Chapter 1

_**Elena** started a group chat with **Dani** , **Margeaux** , **Syd** , and **Thomas** _

**Elena:** Everyone here?

**Syd:** I sure am

**Thomas:** ya boi's here!

**Dani:** So is ya girl!

**Margeuax:** ya...person... is here too!

**Dani:** what are ur pronouns? Don’t wanna misgender anyone in this gc

**Margeaux:** ze/zir. What are everyone's pronouns? 

**Syd:** they/them

**Thomas:** He/him!  <3

**Elena:** She/her

**Dani:** She/her in this corner too! Looks like that’s everyone

**Syd:** lovin the pronoun diversity in this gc tonight

**Margeaux:** omg can I name this chat the pronoun squad? 

**Dani:** if you didn’t I would be angry...so much potential

_**Margeaux** changed chat name to "Pronoun Squad"_

**Syd:** I never knew that I would get a squad because I complained on some video game forums.... god exists and she loves me

**Elena:** I’m glad that there are at least four people in the world that are as angry about Blood Oath XII as me  
**Elena:** because why the fUCK would they fade to black earlier with the not-straight kisses? Like???.? There is so much rage in my tiny, tiny body.........

**Thomas:** big mood, if I’m being honest

**Margeaux:** Thomas we’ve been chatting in forums for three months and I can say with confidence that rage isn’t a big emotion for u. Ur more of a calm disappointment kind of guy

**Thomas:** umm that is incorrect,, you saw how pissed i got when that guy bullied Kat so hard she deleted her account

**Dani:** he did rip into that guy pretty hard

**Margeaux:** Thomas used all caps once. He is nowhere near Elena's level of anger though, that’s for sure

**Dani:** u right, u right

**Elena:** I’m not THAT angry

**Thomas:** lol

**Syd:** hate to break it to you but...

**Dani:** I meAn, one time a guy said he was crying and you told him to quote unquote "PROVE IT"

**Elena:** It was within reason

**Margeaux:** was it though? 

**Elena:** I’m afraid so, marge

**Margeaux:** Marge?

**Elena:** are we close enough to do nicknames or do I have to take that one back?

**Margeaux:** I’ll think about it

**Dani:** I like it.. you have a new contact name, mArGe

_**Dani** changed **Margeaux** to **good ol' marge**_

_**good ol' marge:** w h y_

_**Elena:** Don’t hate on my and my inspired vision_

_**good ol' marge:** if not for the laws of this land, I would have slain you by now_

_**Elena:** ;) sure_

_——_

_**Dani:** You know what makes me want to punch someone?_

_**Elena:** continue _

_**Dani:** When you’re just chillin, listening to music on Spotify, and then an ad comes on and it’s for 50 shade of shIT_

_**Syd:** I’ve never felt so grateful for Spotify premium that sounds awful_

_**Elena:** you have Spotify premium?? How_

_**Dani:** Spotify premium? How bourgeoisie _

_**Syd:** take that back_

_**Dani:** Where was the lie?_

_**Elena:** Shes right, but she shouldn’t have said it_

_**Syd:** I’m traumatized... my socialist cred has been threatened.... now I have to cancel Spotify premium_

_**Elena:** Why cancel when you can just give me the subscription?_

_**Syd:** You walk into my house, call me bourgeoisie for my Spotify premium, and then you ask me for my subscription? Check yourself before you wreck yourself_

_**Elena:** sharing is caring, Sydeoisie. _

__**Dani** changed **Syd** to **Sydeoisie**_ _

__**Dani:** If anything screams socialism, it’s sharing...._ _

__**Sydeoisie:** u right, u right_ _

__**Elena:** Don’t worry, I won’t attack you over your bourgeoisie tendencies_ _

__**Sydeoisie:** thx  <3_ _

__**Dani:** I will_ _

__**Sydeoisie:** looks like someone (Dani) won’t get the info (it’ll be Dani) to my Spotify premium (I wonder who it is? Dani) account_ _

__**Elena:** Are you for real because I would die if u were_ _

__**Sydeoisie:** well if you’d die then that’s a bit of a deterrent_ _

__**Elena:** It would be a good kind of death... one of happiness. _ _

__**Sydeoisie:** I’ll think about it_ _

__**Elena:** Well, just imagine me, in my corner of the world, smiling at the prospect ;)_ _

__**Sydeoisie:** that’s a dirty, dirty tactic. _ _

__**Elena:** ;)_ _

__——_ _

___Message from **Dani** to **Thomas** and **good ol' marge**_ _ _

___**Dani** named the group **matchmaker, matchmaker**_ _ _

__**Dani:** We definitely need to set up Elena and Syd. My matchmaking muscles haven’t been exercised in too long. _ _

__**Thomas:** Do we know that they aren’t straight?_ _

__**good ol’ marge:** Yeah, I’ve made that mistake before_ _

__**Dani:** I’m pretty sure about Syd, but Elena is a bit of a wild card. Either a big ally or not straight.._ _

__**Thomas:** what’s the evidence on either side?_ _

__**good ol’ marge:** she gives off a bit of a gay disaster vibe. And she doesn’t talk about guys at all. Other than one friend, who seems like a popular ~cool~ guy_ _

__**Thomas:** Boyfriend, maybe?_ _

__**Dani:** She seemed to really like the ghostbusters movie_ _

__**good ol’ marge:** was her favorite character holtzmann?_ _

__**Thomas:** inconclusive, she’s everyone's favorite_ _

__**good ol’ marge:** hmm? I thought it was a gay thing?_ _

__**Thomas:** I haven’t met anyone who didn’t have holtzmann as their favorite _ _

__**Thomas:** even the straight people._ _

__**good ol’ marge:** heckety darn. We need to have tests._ _

__**Dani:** elaborate_ _

__**good ol’ marge:** I’m gonna start more group convos with specifically gay questions. Everyone will be revealed...._ _

__**Thomas:** how in depth will this questioning go? How specific can your answers get? _ _

__**good ol’ marge:** What do you mean?_ _

__**Thomas:** can you tell the difference between pansexual and bisexual based on these questions? How specific can it get? Because I kinda want to see you guess my orientation based on my opinion on Gal Gadot_ _

__**good ol’ marge:** Challenge accepted_ _

__**Dani:** I believe in your gay-identifying Questions, good ol' marge. Don’t fail me now._ _

__**good ol’ marge:** you’ll see..............._ _

__**Dani:** O_O guess I will.._ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The matchmaking trio starts t try to figure out if the people they’re matchmaking are even wlw.... it devolves pretty quickly

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**good ol’ marge:** okay, I’m gonna start questioning. You guys need to play! Along!! If Syd or elena gets suspicious we are all goin down

**Dani:** I like the intensity. I’m in.

**Thomas:** Are these wlw specific? How invested should I be in my own answers?

**good ol’ marge:** some are very specifically targeted to wlw... but you may get a few good ones. 

**Thomas:** Ok. I think I can manage it. 

**good ol’ marge:** ready to begin operation Sylena Gaymez?

**Dani:** start it up

**[pronoun squad]**

**good ol’ marge:** guys......what are your opinions on Gal Gadot

**Sydeoisie:** I have her Instagram on post notifications.

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**good ol’ marge:** ok so syd's into ladies. Problem solved.

**Dani:** that was quick

**good ol’ marge:** Being very into Gal Gadot is gay behavior. So, case closed. Now get back in there, make this seem unplanned and cutely spontaneous 

**[pronoun squad]**

**Thomas:** She was rly good in Wonder Woman. That whole "no mans land" scene was so well done, those aerial shots. I died in the theater

**Dani:** I love her! And ditto on that scene. 

**Elena:** She’s great! She got robbed in Justice League, though. 

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**good ol’ marge:** AGH I VANT READ ANYTHING FROM THAT

**Dani:** She said that she liked Gal Gadot? 

**good ol’ marge:** The justice League comment implies that Elena really cares about wonder woman's character. Nothing major about Gal. And while Wonder Woman herself def has some gay following, she’s more general... straight women like Wonder Woman too.

**Thomas:** What now?

**good ol’ marge:** What’s something that’s widely agreed upon among the vast majority of wlw??

**Dani:** IVE GOT IT

**[pronoun squad]**

**Dani:** If we're doing polling hour, Ive got on.

**Sydeoisie:** hit me with it, coach

**good ol’ marge:** Coach Dani, what do ya got?

_**Thomas** changed **Dani** 's name to **Coach Dani**_

**Coach Dani:** I like the new name.... anyway, poll: who should’ve Quinn from glee ended up with??

**Thomas:** Rachel

**good ol’ marge:** Santana

**Sydeoisie:** Rachel

**Elena:** No one from the glee club, tbh. She’s matured past high school romance. Get her an environmental science major from Yale.

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**Coach Dani:** FUCK THAT COULD GO EITHER WAY

**good ol’ marge:** at least we know that no one is definitely, absolutely straight in this chat

**Coach Dani:** good, I was getting worried.

**[Pronoun Squad]**

**Sydeoisie:** hmm that’s an interesting (and valid) take

**Elena:** Thank you!!! I try very hard to be valid at all times

**Sydeoisie:** You don’t even need to try, you’re immediately valid.

**Coach Dani:** could you elaborate about this Environmental Studies major though? Like what do you think is Quinn's type

**Elena:** Interesting question. I can finally push my OC on you guys.

**Sydeoisie:** push away

**good ol’ marge:** lol that’s what she said

**Coach Dani:** Wait I definitely want to hear about Elena's OC but Margeaux?????? Explain????????

**good ol’ marge:** "Push away" sounds like a kinda sexual thing don’t bully me

**Coach Dani:** As your coach I have every right to bully you

**Thomas:** Sorry to break it to you, Dani, but intramural sports don’t work that way

**Coach Dani:** YES THEY DO

**Elena:** If the coach says though, that’s how intramural sports work

**Thomas:** Intramural sports aren’t tyranny

**Elena:** everything else is

**good ol’ marge:** GOD that was so emo I have renewed respect for you

**Sydeoisie:** Intramural Sports is the original Tyrannical Society..... that’s a fact 

**Thomas:** to be completely honest, I don’t know the difference between intramural sports and regular sports and at this point I’m too afraid to ask

**Elena:** Does anyone REALLY know the difference

**Sydeoisie:** I sure don’t

**good ol’ marge:** Should I look it up, because I’m clueless too

**Thomas:** No..... I like the mystery

**Coach Dani:** I know the difference 

**Elena:** DONT TELL

**Sydeoisie:** If you say a WORD I’m quitting the team

**Thomas:** At first I was ashamed of my lack of knowledge, but thanks to this team... I'm fine with my ignorance. Thanks to THIS TEAM, I’m okay with being dumb

**good ol’ marge:** god, I love being dumb!!!

**Coach Dani:** I cannot live on with this ignorance, I must share

**Elena:** NO

**Thomas:** I WILL BLOCK YOU

**Sydeoisie:** I’m leaving this team

**good ol’ marge:** We can’t lose Syd, not now, not before the big championship 

**Coach Dani:** As Plato said, it is the job of the enlightened to teach the unenlightened.... theory of forms, bitches

**Sydeoisie:** Was that Plato or Socrates?

**Coach Dani:** Wish I knew, can’t tell the difference

**Sydeoisie:** HA!!!! Now who’s unenlightened?! Hypocrisy and betrayal puts you in the ninth circle of hell!! You’re not the only one who can reference classic pieces of literature and rhetoric!

**Thomas:** When our coach fails us, so rises the revolutionary... the one who will save us all..... the Sydeoisie 

**Sydeoisie:** damn right!

**Elena:** Also that’s a wild misuse of the theory of forms, fam. You’re talking about the Allegory of the Cave, Coach

**Coach Dani:** they’re related concepts!

**Elena:** The Allegory of the Cave was the one specifically discussing the responsibilities of the enlightened vis a vis the unenlightened. Check yourself before u wreck yourself

**Coach Dani:** I’ve been schooled..... by my own pupil

**good ol’ marge:** Can I turn that into a "that’s what she said"?

**Thomas:** You could, I guess. But you really shouldn’t.

**Sydeoisie:** Whats the context?

**good ol’ marge:** Syd's too innocent I can’t....

**Sydeoisie:** I am?

**good ol’ marge:** .............

**Sydeoisie:** I’m so confused!! What’s sexual about what Dani said?!

**Thomas:** It’s not Sexual, but it can be recontextualized in funny ways 

**Sydeoisie:** I may not get it completely, but thank you Thomas for not doubting me.

**Thomas:** <3

**good ol’ marge:** What a wild ride

**Elena:** an emotional roller coaster from beginning to end, honestly

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**good ol’ marge:** so it just hit me that we are no where closer to figuring out if Elena likes ladies than when we began

**Thomas:** You’re right... but maybe the real wlw was the friends we made along the way.

**good ol’ marge:** u right, u right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I love you all! Thank you for the comments' they are the major reason why I got the initiative to keep this up! This is a fun one to write, and I hope you guys keep commenting and keep having fun reading! See y’all next time
> 
> Also I honestly don’t know the difference between intramural sports and non intramural sports, so this part of the chat I said very reflectively of me. Also Margeaux's "that’s what she said" jokes that make no logical sense are also reflective of me. So that’s where THOSE bits come from


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thiccens

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**Coach Dani:** ok guys, so we really threw in the towel yesterday, we need to bring it today.

**good ol’ marge:** I hear you loud and clear. I have notebook that will analyze Elena's responses to find out the truth.

**Thomas:** I wish I put this much effort into school tbh.

**good ol’ marge:** I count this down as an extracurricular 

**Thomas:** Interviewer: are you on any teams or clubs?  
 **Thomas:** Me: Well, I do happen to be a member of the matchmaking group chat, which does very influential work in helping the quality of life of Syd.

**good ol’ marge:** As well as the entire pronoun squad. We would all feel much safer if Elena wasn’t straight. Could you imagine all that anger and energy being put to heterosexual means? Terrifying

**Coach Dani:** That’s nightmare fuel... never utter those words again

**good ol’ marge:** I do what must be done

**Coach Dani:** :/ must it be done

**Thomas:** one day, it will be the secret weapon. But now? It cannot be used to achieve good. Save it for a better time.

**good ol’ marge:** god I love your moral compass

**Thomas:** ;) I do what must be done

**Coach Dani:** BIG hmmmmmm

**Thomas:** Nothing to see here coach. Don’t you have matchmaking to do?

**Coach Dani:** Looks like I do. See you guys in the main chat. Don’t get freaky if it’s not on pm, u nerds

**[pronoun squad]**

**Coach Dani:** So fellas, any hot gossip? Any 411?

**Sydeoisie:** U sound like a stepdad connecting with his stepchildren.... very chaotic good

**Thomas:** Wow it’s so awkward when ur mom hooks up with ur soccer coach.....

**Elena:** Who's the Mom? If there are roles in this scenario then someone needs to hook up with Dani  
 **Elena:** I'll be the Mom, I guess? I mean I'm a disaster who cares?

**good ol’ marge:** no this chat can only have one Mom, and she’s just an omnipotent force of chaos

**Thomas:** not to be that person but that basically sounds like Elena

**Coach Dani:** I’m sorry, I don’t date team members.. I'm only attracted to abstract concepts that take a physical form

**Elena:** that’s valid, I guess

**Sydeoisie:** That’s more than valid!!! I approve. And I, personally, ship Dani x Chaos.

**good ol’ marge:** When it’s written out like that Chaos sounds like an emo OC 

**Elena:** oh my god, it’s my glee oc. 

**good ol’ marge:** Chaos, an environmental studies major at Yale Who’s also emo. I like it

**Thomas:** would they sing? Because of the whole glee thing

**Elena:** yes  
 **Elena:** Chaos has this big performance, at a diner. There’s glitter. I wrote the whole thing in my dream journal

**good ol’ marge:** What song?

**Elena:** I just had sex by the lonely island

**good ol’ marge:** ???

**Elena:** this all happened in my dream that’s why I mentioned it being in my dream journal 

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**good ol’ marge:** I’m not getting anything from this, team

**Coach Dani:** I’m holding out for a She/her pronoun... knowing that Quinn is a lesbian is definitely a signifier.......

**Thomas:** she probably won’t say anything conclusive after we casually named the OC. She’s probably trying to keep the details vague because this is now something we are developing as a group

**good ol’ marge:** congrats, we played ourselves 

 

**[pronoun squad]**

**Sydeoisie:** I wish I had those kind of dreams!! My dreams are mostly nightmares 

**Thomas:** !!! Oh no

**Sydeoisie:** yeahhh... it sucks very hard. 

**Elena:** If you ever need to call someone in the middle of the night because of something like that, ya girl's got you

**Sydeoisie:** <3

**Elena:** <3 <3

**good ol’ marge:** Ditto from me!

**Coach Dani:** and me

**Thomas:** add me to the call list

**Sydeoisie:** We just need to have a midnight phone party. 

**Elena:** Sign me up! 

**Coach Dani:** We could do one of those group FaceTimes, that could be fun

**Thomas:** Oooooh I like the sound of all this. 

**good ol’ marge:** wait guys I’m sorry to change the topic but I’m really craving thin mints right now and if I repress this need by staying silent I’m going to go on a thin mint bender

**Sydeoisie:** sorry we can associate anymore, I’m a tagalongs girl

**Elena:** idk I always really liked the lemon ones

**Thomas:** blocked and reported. Uninvited to my birthday party.

**Coach Dani:** I’m a thin mints kid and proud. Lemon cookies are in the ninth circle of cookie Hell. And you know what’s in heaven? Thin mints

**Elena:** Why am I getting bullied like this 

**Thomas:** Thin mints? Lawful good. Tagalongs? Neutral good. The lemon ones??? Chaotic evil.

**Elena:** pshhhh true neutral at WORST

**good ol’ marge:** I should kick your ass

**Elena:** Lets just all be on the same page and agree that tagalongs are good! I don’t want to fight, just to eat the Girl Scout cookies that we can all agree on

**good ol’ marge:** okay..... but I wouldn’t do this unless Syd was as valid as they were..

**Thomas:** We only Stan legends

**Sydeoisie:** :)

**Coach Dani:** I stan Syd and the girl who actually sold the cookies in my high school

**Sydeoisie:** You’re lucky that you have dealers at hand. I have to get my fix from storefronts

**Thomas:** the struggle is real!! 

**good ol’ marge:** Although it is awkward walking up to a person who you share, like, one class with in the halls for cookies. And then you have to ignore how shitty they are sometimes in class discussions so you can get some thin mints and it’s weird

**Coach Dani:** who the hell sold you Girl Scout cookies

**good ol’ marge:** Her name is Hailey and she thinks that I’m "forcing" my interpretations in English class and that I stretch them too far,,, which is bs

**Coach Dani:** Gross

**good ol’ marge:** She’s very gross.

**Coach Dani:** Is she on the track team by any chance?

**good ol’ marge:** no, why?

**Coach Dani:** Unrelated tbh. I just know a lot of shitty people on the track team at my school, and idk if that’s the case in other schools

**Elena:** there’s only one or two REALLY bad people on my school's track team. Most people at my school tend to be kinda mean and weird, but in terms of actively malicious, awful people, the track team has two

**Sydeoisie:** Who are they

**Elena:** When there’s Noah, and one time he spent an entire work period sitting at my table, talking to his friends really loudly about whether he’d have sex with a fat girl. I could hear him through my earbuds. 

**Sydeoisie:** ugh^2

**Thomas:** I don’t think I’ll ever really understand boys my age

**Coach Dani:** who's the other person

**Elena:** Garret, once unironically stated that "trump will make us all millionaires"

**good ol’ marge:** I’d like to order a hit

**Elena:** it’s cool though, my English teacher roasted him so hard

**Coach Dani:** I wish I could roast as well as an exasperated teacher 

**Thomas:** One day I’ll become a teacher so I can roast properly.

**Elena:** I would, but my students would get so sick of me. I would just spend the entire time talking about my childhood and politics, they would learn nothing 

**Thomas:** if anything would get the kids, it’s nostalgia

**good ol’ marge:** I’m nostalgic as hell!!! What are y'all's favorite Disney Channel movies? That’s the childhood marker

**Elena:** Princess Protection Program

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**good ol’ marge:** okay so Elena's definitely wlw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all, thanks for the comments' and I hope you guys keep leavin them! I love all you readers, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Also, if you happen to be curious, I do have ideas for the favorite DCOMs rest of the squad, so comment if you’re curious


	4. lol gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone just needs some sleep.... honestly

**[pronoun squad]**

**Thomas:** guys I’ve got a BIG pitch

 **good ol’ marge:** Hit me with it  
**good ol’ marge:** (that’s what she said? Nvm, continue)

 **Thomas:** ok ok this is real good, so get hyped up.....

 **Coach Dani:** I'm all hype. What do you have for us?

 **Thomas:** 4 words. Bruno Mars Jukebox Musical.

 **Elena:** Hmmmmm

 **Coach Dani:** big hmmm

 **Thomas:** It’s a classic "Liar Revealed" story, where a guy climbs to fame with some lie, gets low key corrupted, and then hits rock bottom and realizes the error of his ways

 **Elena:** You’ve really thought about this, huh?

 **Thomas:** I just finished writing the first act

 **good ol’ marge:** Jesus Christ how long have you been working on this

 **Thomas:** don’t roast me but  
**Thomas:** I’ve been working on it for the entirety of last night. I held an all-nighter to get this far

 **Sydeoisie:** THOMAS NO

 **Thomas:** Inspiration struck

 **Coach Dani:** oh no you need to sleep

 **Thomas:** Do I?

 **Elena:** YES

 **Sydeoisie:** absolutely

 **good ol’ marge:** please go to sleep Thomas

 **Coach Dani:** yes

 **Thomas:** The song right before intermission is 24 Karat Magic you cannot stop me

 **Sydeoisie:** I’m calling the police

 **Coach Dani:** I don’t want to encourage your sleep deprivation but what part of the musical do you have "Treasure" bc that’s my fave

 **Thomas:** That’s the song he sings to serenade the guy he likes

 **Coach Dani:** Cute

 **Sydeoisie:** STOP ENCOURAGING HIM  
**Sydeoisie:** NO POSITIVITY IN THIS HOUSE  >:(

 **Elena:** In Chez Pronoun Squad? It’s all roasts all the time. 

**good ol’ marge:** Ok I’m all for negativity but is Uptown Funk in your musical?

 **Thomas:** It’s the makeover song, where he’s getting all fancy for his interview with the record label as millionaire playboy France Frerard. 

**Coach Dani:** I’m trying not be lured in............

 **Elena:** Are you trying hard enOUGH!?!

 **Coach Dani:** I just think that France Frerard is a cool name I’m not being sucked in I swear  
**Coach Dani:** ..........;)

 **Sydeoisie:** We saw that! You cannot lie to us any more!

 **Coach Dani:** I will state this clearly. I do not support Thomas' musical  
**Coach Dani:** even though I definitely love it and would see it if it came out, I do not support it

 **Elena:** I don’t like the trickiness, but I respect it

 **Sydeoisie:** I’ll fold, it’s a good idea, but go to sleep regardless 

**Elena:** ditto

 **Thomas:** okAY

 **good ol’ marge:** Thank god

 **Thomas:** Before I go, though

 **Sydeoisie:** NO

 **Elena:** GO TO SLEEP

 **Thomas:** The main character sings grenade but it’s about showbiz and how he can never give enough

 **Coach Dani:** Nice. Now SLEEP.

 **Thomas:** ok Coach, and good ol' marge. Goodnight

 **Elena:** Why don’t Syd and I get a good night

 **Thomas:** You guys weren’t supportive sooooo.....

 **Sydeoisie:** Thomathan, me and your mom are VERY proud and supportive of your idea, we are just worried about your wellbeing

 **Thomas:** lol gay  
**Thomas:** SHIT wrong chat sorry guys

 **Sydeoisie:** ??? w h a t

 **Thomas:** Totally different conversation, to which "lol gay" was a relevant and appropriate thing to say. Sorry for any confusion. I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.

 

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**Coach Dani:** anyone else, uhh... ready for death?

 **good ol’ marge:** Did we seem suspicious..

 **Coach Dani:** Thomas definitely did. We didn’t though. Thomas, when you wake up, I have one message for you

 **good ol’ marge:** is it "that’s what she said" because if so

 **Coach Dani:** STOP. My message is: come up with a solution while you dream and then get back to us

 **good ol’ marge:** Will he see that before he dreams though

 **Coach Dani:** I don’t want to pressure him....

 **good ol’ marge:** Valid

—

**pronoun squad**

**Elena:** Ok kids, i have a big mood for you all

 **good ol’ marge:** omg ur such a trendy mom...

 **Elena:** Thanks, I try so hard! I though you all doubted my coolness after the bake sale, but it’s great that you are so supportive of my big moods

 **Thomas:** Just because you didn’t make weed brownies for the soccer team doesn’t mean that you’re a bad mom!!!

 **Sydeoisie:** GUYS the feds are already onto me, hush hush

 **Coach Dani:** ?? No¿¿ Syd you’ve never done anything wrong in your LIFE. Why would the feds be onto you?

 **Sydeoisie:** I have a dark, dark past.......

 **good ol’ marge:** How do you think they got into the bourgeoisie class without some illegal activity?

 **Coach Dani:** :O  
**Coach Dani:** All this time... and I never figured it out

 **Elena:** you’ve been hit by...you’ve been struck by..,,, a smooth criminal

 **Coach Dani:** You’re so right

 **Elena:** Crap I want to do :3 but then y’all will call me a furry

 **good ol’ marge:** it’s ok, we already have one furry in this chat, we’ve become ok with it

 **Coach Dani:** Really? Who?

 **good ol’ marge:** Thomas, duh

 **Thomas:** Why am I being called out like this, I'm a good person. I follow the Bro Code to a t, I’ve abided by my heavenly scripture (Hey Ya by OutKast), I’ve done nothing to deserve this reveal

 **Sydeoisie:** Life’s not fair, Tommy-boy. I thought you’d've learnt this

**_Elena_ changed _Thomas_ ’s name to _Tommy-Boy_**

**Tommy-Boy:** I can’t believe that my name will always be tied to this event

 **Elena:** That’s life, kid

 **Sydeoisie:** Take it with a grain of happiness! Like, a bunch of Christian moms stopped naming their kids Ellen after Ellen came out, because Ellen became a gay name. Now, Tommy-Boy just happens to be a furry name, and that’s you!!

 **good ol’ marge:** I think my fave part of that was the confidence with which they said the phrase "take it with a grain of happiness"

 **Sydeoisie:** Don’t bully me! I'm running on Girl Scout cookies I stole from my kitchen and four hours of sleep, my language faculties aren’t 100% tonight

 **Tommy-Boy:** go to sleep!

 **Coach Dani:** everyone in this chat just needs to go to sleep

 **Tommy-Boy:** I literally just slept, what will I do

 **Elena:** wait

 **good ol’ marge:** Well good night I guess

 **Coach Dani:** Sweet dreams!!

 **Sydeoisie:** <3 gn

 **Tommy-Boy:** umm good night? I’ll just make y’all, idk,, what do you guys like?

 **Elena:** Ooh do you make moodboards

 **Tommy-Boy:** now I do. So I’ll just, idk, make some moodboards? 

**Elena:** Goodnight! I have high hopes

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’d advise against that,, goodnight anyway  
**Tommy-Boy:** Sleep tight, nerds

 **good ol’ marge:** Have a good night, furry

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m not ashamed

 **Coach Dani:** good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Sup guys! Guess who isn’t sick anymore, and is capable of posting?? She also has two thumbs.... it’s me. I’m also posting a one-shot from a prompt today, so be on the lookout for that. Hope y’all enjoyed!!
> 
> (Also, quick music thing, I have yet to find a Frankie Cosmos song that doesn’t vaguely remind me of Syd, so if you want to make a Syd playlist, look there)
> 
> Also, follow me on tumblr at TheSubtextMachine, where I have an ask box that loves prompts!! <3 also, SMASH that subscribe button, and comment below


	5. Law and Order: Good Ol' Unit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions about past forum members, bands, and law and order

**pronoun squad**

**Coach Dani:** GUYS I need u to break up an argument

**Tommy-Boy:** what do you need?

**Sydeoisie:** I’m here!

**Coach Dani:** My band is fighting over a song title and it’s been going on for at least thirty minutes and i need you guys to vote

**Elena:** hold up hold up,, you’re in a band?

**Coach Dani:** Yea.. I’m the lead guitar....

**good ol’ marge:** How am I just learning about this the fuck

**Sydeoisie:** !!!whats the name of the band?

**Coach Dani:** y’all are gonna make fun of me

**Tommy-Boy:** I won’t! Can’t speak for Margeaux, but I won’t

**Sydeoisie:** I’ll only roast if it’s REALLY bad

**Elena:** I’m too awestruck to joke

**Coach Dani:** Our band name is Koalamydia  
 **Coach Dani:** like chlamydia... but with koalas  
 **Coach Dani:** The keyboardist came up with it

**good ol’ marge:** I like it! Edgy

**Sydeoisie:** I mean animal stds are no laughing matter, but good wordplay. 7/10

**Tommy-Boy:** what’s the song title question?

**Coach Dani:** Moon-Eyed Louisa or Louisa Avenue

**Elena:** Wait, Louisa from the message boards? Who left?  
 **Elena:** also I vote for the first

**Coach Dani:** Yeah. I kinda wrote songs for my message board friends? It was a whole project thing I did

**Sydeoisie:** Wait does that mean that there are songs for us  
 **Sydeoisie:** Also I vote for Moon-Eyed Louisa

**Coach Dani:** yeah, but they aren’t ready!

**Tommy-Boy:** If any of them have names you are under a legal obligation to tell us

**Coach Dani:** Thomas urs is "Sunny Rain", and Margeaux's song is "Kindergarten Crush", and Maddie's is "Wish You Were Here"

**good ol’ marge:** Does anyone know what happened to Maddie?

**Elena:** She just made a post about having to leave? Didn’t give us any personal info to find her with, trust me I checked

**Sydeoisie:** Maddie and Louisa, the true cryptids 

**good ol’ marge:** Louisa gave me her ig, but she’s abandoned that too. Said it was something about social media distracting her from dance. She’ll probably resurface, I guess?

**Tommy-Boy:** I mean, entertainers have to keep up a public image, right? 

**Elena:** Does that apply to all dancers? I mean, ballet doesn’t seem like that, just based on her descriptions of it

**Sydeoisie:** I have no idea. Google isn’t helping

**good ol’ marge:** I’m getting into detective mode now... i mean, they live in our area, right? And we know their first names. We know what Louisa looks like and that she dances, that should be enough, right?

**Coach Dani:** I can imagine finding Louisa, but Maddie would be hard 

**Tommy-Boy:** Hmm, do we remember any details that could help?

**Sydeoisie:** Her deadname is Matt, might help with finding records

**Elena:** I’m pretty sure she mentioned going to a public school?? And she’s a big fan of sketch comedy? Maybe something about taking improv classes? She was v present on the forum about bigotry in comedy circles

**Coach Dani:** Maybe we should leave it alone? I mean, what if she doesn’t want to be found?

**Sydeoisie:** That’s right....

**Tommy-Boy:** We weren’t the reason she left, though. It was the guys on the forum who bullied her until she left. What if she misses us, but doesn’t want to go back to that space?

**Coach Dani:** But she was always such a private person, we should respect that

**good ol’ marge:** we don’t need to talk to her, or reach out. It would just be nice to know that she’s alive and well

**Elena:** I'm with Margeaux on this one. I want to make sure that she’s ok, and if we happen to reconnect (which I’m not expecting, but as a possibility), I wouldn’t fight it

**Sydeoisie:** I don’t know, I’m not confident that we should look for her. I mean, we were all bullied, but they hit her hard. I don’t want to remind her of that

**Tommy-Boy:** Maybe we should find Louisa and then work on Maddie? Give it time? Louisa is relatively less complicated, and she could probably give good advice about it 

**Coach Dani:** If we find her

**Tommy-Boy:** of course, of course. We might have to wait for her to get back on social media, or smth like that, but I miss her. Her poetry was good, and I’ve already read everything she sent me. 

**Elena:** same with Maddie, tbh. Like, I just,,, miss her? Not to be vulnerable or anything, but she was one of my best friends on the site before she left? And it really hurt when she did? And it’s like,, who am I if I don’t at least try to find her?  
 **Elena:** I mean, we aren’t going to look for her first, I agree that that’s the best course of action but I still want to find her

**Sydeoisie:** Okay, I concede. We'll look for Louisa, see how it goes, and MAYBE work on finding Maddie

**Elena:** <3

**good ol’ marge:** Looks like we have a plan! Can’t wait to get my detective on

**Tommy-Boy:** Law and Order: Good Ol' Unit

**Sydeoisie:** "It’s time to destroy the good 'ol boys club..... now it’s just the good ol' kids club....."

**Coach Dani:** *ol' ol'*

**Elena:** is that supposed to be in the place of the dun dun or,,,?

**Coach Dani:** I thought that came across but apparently not

**Tommy-Boy:** crap now I’m just imagining like, a seal noise? In really impactful scenes? Like, "he was the murderer!" (Fade to black) *ol' ol'*

**good ol’ marge:** That is.......terrifying

**Sydeoisie:** (fade to black) *ol' ol'*  
 **Sydeoisie:** The perfect ending to any and all scenes

**Elena:** I’m shaking this is all so much. How did we devolve into Chaos so quickly?

**Tommy-Boy:** The allure of the Good Ol' Unit is too strong

**Elena:** I love you dorks, tbh

**Sydeoisie:** STOP I’m blushing

**Elena:** GOOD

**Tommy-Boy:** lol gay

**Tommy-Boy:** shit not again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Remember how much I love each and every comment, and consider sending me a prompt on tumblr (I’m TheSubtextMachine)! Love you all, and thanks again for reading


	6. We dem bois

_**Sydeoisie** started a group chat with **Coach Dani** , **Tommy-Boy** and **good ol’ marge**_

_**Sydeoisie** named the group chat **gay disaster**_

**Sydeoisie:** ok squad, I need y'all's advice

**Coach Dani:** I’m here! Why isn’t Elena on this chat?

**Sydeoisie:** so I might have a crush on Elena

**[matchmaker, matchmaker]**

**Coach Dani:** AHHHDJDMKFOIEJSKMC WE CALLED IT

**good ol’ marge:** I’m SCREAMINF

**Tommy-Boy:** WE DEM BOISSSSS

**Coach Dani:** What the fuck was that

**Tommy-Boy:** I got excited!! I’m so excited!

**good ol’ marge:** if u think that for a second I’m going to let u forget that u are solely mistaken

_**good ol’ marge** renamed **matchmaker, matchmaker** to **WE DEM BOISSSS**_

**Tommy-Boy:** this is homophobic

**[gay disaster]**

**Sydeoisie:** guys? I’m kinda pourin my heart out over here

**good ol’ marge:** Sorry!! I got really excited and forgot to respond

**Tommy-Boy:** I’m in the same boat. This is so exciting! My friend group, dating each other? Im in (as long as it’s not something gross, like me and Dani)

**good ol’ marge:** that would be pretty gross

**Coach Dani:** And I think my girlfriend would probably get pissed if we u and I started dating so,,,,

**Sydeoisie:** I agree that that’s pretty gross. But on the possibly more important sphere of our conversation, how the heck am I going to get Elena to be my gf

**Tommy-Boy:** idk fake dating plots seem to work pretty well every time I see them

**Sydeoisie:** fool, fake dating plots work best when both parties like each other. When it’s unrequited, it’s just sad

**Coach Dani:** So, figure out if it’s required, and then fake dating plot?

**good ol’ marge:** That sounds good

**Tommy-Boy:** yea, ditto.

**Sydeoisie:** I’m being serious, guys...

**good ol’ marge:** Ok, so we can at least keep step one? Figure out if Elena likes Syd back?

**Sydeoisie:** is Elena even wlw?

**Tommy-Boy:** 75/25 chance

**Sydeoisie:** How do you know?

**Tommy-Boy:** I mean, her favorite Disney Channel Orignal movie is Princess Protection Program, so I think that’s pretty wlw

**Coach Dani:** As a bi woman I can back this up. It’s PPP, Lemonade Mouth, and some assorted others. 

**good ol’ marge:** would it be a bad idea to make a joke about how Holes is both a good movie and I great name for a porno or is this the wrong chat for it

**Sydeoisie:** ur right, but u shouldn’t say it

**Tommy-Boy:** Idk, are there any straight DCOMs? 

**Coach Dani:** Luck of the Irish  
 **Coach Dani:** Starstruck  
 **Coach Dani:** Smart House  
 **Coach Dani:** Need I continue?

**good ol’ marge:** What about that one where the girl magically has a doll transform into a human and the doll, like, falls in love with her dad?

**Sydeoisie:** That’s one of the movies that is in the back of my mind, and u could say anything about it and I would believe u

**Tommy-Boy:** Straight if it’s true

**good ol’ marge:** in other news, how are we gonna put Sylena Gaymez into action?

**Coach Dani:** I feel like this may be a cursed question, but what if we all met up in person

**Tommy-Boy:** in what world is that cursed?

**Coach Dani:** idk, the internet is wild. What if we're all cat fishing each other?

**Sydeoisie:** Risky, but I like it. U can broach it on the main squad chat and see if it floats Elena’s boat

**Tommy-Boy:** The things u say sometimes honestly wow me

**Coach Dani:** Thomas I have a screenshot of you saying "WE DEM BOISSS"

**Sydeoisie:** SHARE THIS omg

**[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**Coach Dani:** so I may be in a bit of a sticky situation

**good ol’ marge:** that’s what she said

**Coach Dani:** The power of Christ compels you, Margeaux 

**Tommy-Boy:** what’s this sticky situation?

**Coach Dani:** Syd wants a screenshot of a chat that the three of us have, that they aren’t in. That is low key suspicious

**Tommy-Boy:** high key suspicious tbh

**good ol’ marge:** They also would’ve remembered if Thomas said that on the main chat, so we can’t just name this chat "pronoun squad" and take a screenshot

**Coach Dani:** S H I T what have I gotten myself into

**Tommy-Boy:** We can just have a one on one text conversation and at some point I say we dem Bois?

**Coach Dani:** That’s it! 

**[gay disaster]**

**Sydeoisie:** not to be that teen but,,, where are y’all

**Coach Dani:** I’m looking for the screenshot, it’s p high up

**[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**good ol’ marge:** DANI STOP TALKING  
 **good ol’ marge:** THE TIME STAMP WILL SAY TODAYS DATE AND TIME

**Coach Dani:** F UC K you’re right ughhh

**Tommy-Boy:** there’s one way out.....cowardice.

**Coach Dani:** I like the way u think, Tommy-Boy. I’ll fix this, once and for all.

**[gay disaster]**

**Coach Dani:** sry,, I can’t find it. My camera roll is so big....so many memes....I lost it

**Sydeoisie:** oh that’s cool! I think just imagining the glorious WE DEM BOISSS can hold me over until he says it again at some point

**good ol’ marge:** I like that plan

**Tommy-Boy:** Anyway, let’s move this convo away from my ONE TIME Mistake, and figure out how we'll get Elena to meet up with all of us for a fun group activity that will undoubtedly lead to you getting a gf

**Coach Dani:** I like the determination

**Tommy-Boy:** Thanks Coach 

**Sydeoisie:** We can maybe go to a protest? Something video game related? Good way to get back to our roots?

**good ol’ marge:** We should probably get something specific to protest

**Tommy-Boy:** Ooh there was that whole thing about Bloodsploshion's nb character options? I’m still pissed, so y’all are probably enraged

**good ol’ marge:** fuck bloodsploshion... I mean, they went halfway there but the false advertising was rly a let down  
 **good ol’ marge:** Still gonna buy it tho, u only get so many chances for nb characters so, u know?

**Sydeoisie:** That’s it. If even Thomas is mad at it, then we have a gold mine. Let’s hit the full pronoun squad with it. 

**good ol’ marge:** God I hate this but....that’s what she said?

**[pronoun squad]**

**Sydeoisie:** Ok so are y’all still annoyed st the Bloodsploshion BS?

**good ol’ marge:** Blood Sploshion? Literally stands for BS. Yes I’m angry

**Elena:** uh, duh. I’ve been sending honest to god letters about it to headquarters

**Coach Dani:** I'm pretty pissed, I’ll be honest

**Tommy-Boy:** I’m actually annoyed, which says something

**Sydeoisie:** so we are all in agreement.....so I have an idea......

**Coach Dani:** ooh?

**Sydeoisie:** What if we all met up and did a protest at HQ? We can make signs and noise and it’ll be fantastic

**Coach Dani:** We could probably also have lunch at that coffee shop I talk about so much!

**Tommy-Boy:** Send me a date, a time, and an address, and I’m in.

**Coach Dani:** same here.

**good ol’ marge:** Me too.

**Sydeoisie:** Elena, what about u?

**Elena:** Absolutely, I'm in. We can even meet at my apartment. Let’s do this!!

**[gay disaster]**

**Sydeoisie:** :)

**Coach Dani:** Don’t doubt the power of dem boissss

**Tommy-Boy:** I feel so much pressure to say it in this moment of success I’m trying hard to resist

**good ol’ marge:** Let it rip, tommy-boy

**Tommy-Boy:** WE DEM BOISSS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Thanks for reading! I know This is late, I just finished a big writing session of a one shot for the Lady Bird fandom (check it out if u like my writing! I’m low key proud of it). As usual, please leave comments! They brighten up my day!


	7. Gay (but smooth) disasters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short interlude before they all meet up

**[pronoun squad]**

**Elena:** I would pay 2000 dollars to have the confidence of a mediocre high school sophomore dude who "likes military history" and is dating a girl from another school

**Coach Dani:** What brought this on?

**Sydeoisie:** I can punch him if u need me to

**Elena:** His name is Travis and I would’ve punched him if his family weren’t made entirely of lawyers. And bc I cant handle the thought of u in prison, u can’t punch him

**good ol’ marge:** what if we just did a character assassination via social media?

**Elena:** That’s so gossip girl 

**good ol’ marge:** ;) I can start the blog

**Coach Dani:** would gossip girl work if we don’t all go to the same school? That might be an issue

**Tommy-Boy:** If I know anything from that time my sister made me watch the entire wretched, sinful show,,, the fact that we don’t go to the same school is a major flaw

**Elena:** hmmm.... How else to character assassinate?

**Coach Dani:** When he tries to make an argument in class, ask him for his sources every time

**Elena:** that is a tried and true method

**Sydeoisie:** How do I character assassinate the froyo Guy in my neighborhood? I have similar problems with him

**Elena:** Buy ice cream instead

**Sydeoisie:** Do u think I can afford ice cream?!?

**Elena:** sydEOISIE? Can’t buy ice cream? Spotify premium is nbd but ice cream is impossible? I’m suspicious

**Sydeoisie:** Well,,, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad if I had someone to split the ice cream with.....

**[gay disaster]**

**good ol’ marge:** SYD U SMOOTH FUCKER

**Tommy-Boy:** proud? In MY me? It’s more likely than you think

**Sydeoisie:** :)

**[pronoun squad]**

**Elena:** if this is your trick to get the pronoun squad in a party setting is working

**[gay disaster]**

**Coach Dani:** ELENA BBY

**Tommy-Boy:** This is so stressful

**Sydeoisie:** is she straight or just one of those memes about wlw being unable to comprehend flirting?

**Coach Dani:** It could go either way... hmmm times 10

**[pronoun squad]**

**Elena:** Speaking of Party setting, are we all going to meet up soon?

**good ol’ marge:** how about next Saturday?

**Elena:** we can meet at my house and then head over to HQ?

**Coach Dani:** I like it!

**Sydeoisie:** just send us the address, a time, and I’ll be there

**Tommy-Boy:** As long as we meet after 9am I’m good  
 **Tommy-Boy:** I might have to shower before and be a bit late, but I’ll be there

**good ol’ marge:** Showering? I’m already interested. Hot date?

**Tommy-Boy:** nah, baseball. And why would I have to shower after a morning date?

**good ol’ marge:** I don’t know what ur into, tommy-boi 

**Tommy-Boy:** I think it’s for the better

**Coach Dani:** If he has to shower after it.... I’d agree

**Tommy-Boy:** I’d be showering after baseball?? Don’t try to turn my extra curricular into a conversation about kinks, Margeaux 

**Sydeoisie:** gross!!! Keep it on pm!!

**Tommy-Boy:** I didn’t even say any kinks?

**Sydeoisie:** I mean sports

**Tommy-Boy:** fair 

**good ol’ marge:** I mean, having a fetish for sports is rough, and I’m sure u face a lot of backlash, but we support you. Just keep it on pm, bud

**Tommy-Boy:** I DO NOT HAVE A SPORTS FETISH

**Coach Dani:** screenshot

**Elena:** I mean, it’s not like I don’t get it. Not a kinksame, but not a kinkshame either.

**Tommy-Boy:** How do I leave this group chat

**Sydeoisie:** You can’t!! We'll lose a pronoun....we need the full set

**Tommy-Boy:** u do make simple economic sense, but emotionally....

**good ol’ marge:** You can’t leave! You’ll miss me too much

**Tommy-Boy:** ooh emotional sense  
 **Tommy-Boy:** interesting prospect

**Coach Dani:** If you leave, you won’t get to hear the song I wrote about you

**Sydeoisie:** She’s right. Ur stuck with us, kid

**Tommy-Boy:** <3, guess I am, u bougie messes

**Sydeoisie:** I’m the bougie one, Dani is the coach one, marge is the ol' one and ur the boy one

**Elena:** What about me?

**Coach Dani:** we need a name for you!

**Tommy-Boy:** I have an idea. Give me the reins

**Elena:** You’ve got the reins

_****Tommy-Boy** changed **Elena** 's name to **Elenatariat**** _ ****

****Elenatariat:** I like it**

****[gay disaster]** **

****Tommy-Boy:** ;)**

****Sydeoisie:** ur the real smooth fucker in this house, Thomas **

****Tommy-Boy:** glad I could help the cause**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short! And yay for Elena finally getting a nickname. Please comment, check out my tumblr (@thesubtextmachine), and thanks for reading!


	8. The meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang meets in person and tensions run high

**[pronoun squad]**

**Coach Dani:** Ok I’m outside Elena's house so now is the last time to confess if any of y’all are a catfish

 **Tommy-Boy:** Why would I confess when I can catfish u in person?

 **Coach Dani:** I'll be more forgiving and we can still protest together. If I walk in and ur my ex, friendship over. Ur over.

 **Tommy-Boy:** U drive an interesting deal.... wish I was a catfish so I could have a proper moral dilemma but I can confirm that I’m just as ugly as the pictures I sent u

 **Sydeoisie:** So.........very attractive?

 **Tommy-Boy:** STOP BEING POSITIVE I'M TRYING TO BE SELF DEPRECATING

 **Elenatariat:** Positivity is illegal in this chat

 **good ol’ marge:** well then....consider me a rebel

 **Sydeoisie:** Criminal gangs of positivity

 **Coach Dani:** Did you mean: punk bands

 **good ol’ marge:** few things are as punk rock as loving yourself

 **Elenatariat:** I hate how right u are. As for as business goes, I’ll meet everyone outside my building? Bring ur signs? We can get some supplies @ my apartment and then we'll go to protest?

 **good ol’ marge:** I'M HYPE LETS DO THIS

 **Sydeoisie:** Can’t wait to set you guys in person!!!

—

**[gay disaster]**

**Sydeoisie:** ok, so I’m texting from the bathroom (which is really nice by the way) and please don’t text back bc we gotta follow table etiquette but can I just say.... Elena is very cute in person... like even more than in pictures... and I am definitely a gay disaster omg

—

**[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**Coach Dani:** guys I am panicking

 **Tommy-Boy:** are u getting the vibes too?

 **good ol’ marge:** I’m socially illiterate what vibes

 **Coach Dani:** I think Elena is trying to flirt with me? Her grandma gave me a classic lesbian question like she was trying to figure it out? Yikes???

 **Tommy-Boy:** yeah uhhhh what the hell are we gonna do if Elena asks u out

 **Coach Dani:** I'll just tell her about my gf, NO ONE can bring up Syd's crush

 **good ol’ marge:** I’m just gonna hope these vibes are incorrect

 **Coach Dani:** me fucking too

 **Tommy-Boy:** If she hurts Syd?? She'll really know that we really are dem Bois 

**Coach Dani:** Thomas this is a serious moment

 **Tommy-Boy:** Sorry!! I just want to lighten it with memes. But I can tell when people aren’t here for memes

 **Coach Dani:** obviously u can’t because u just dropped a we dem bois joke into a discussion on the future of Sylena

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’ll learn to read a room, sorry

 **good ol’ marge:** guys we can’t turn on each other! Not in these fraught times! We just gotta support Sylena, and if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen

 **Tommy-Boy:** Truce, Dani?

 **Coach Dani:** tentative truce. 

**Tommy-Boy:** good enough

—

**[gay disaster]**

**Sydeoisie:** Ok team, I’m feeling it. How should I ask her out?

 **Coach Dani:** oh so ur gonna ask her out? Now?

 **Sydeoisie:** umm I was thinking? Is something wrong 

**good ol’ marge:** nah, I’ve just read too many slow burn fanfics

 **Tommy-Boy:** uhh so what do you want out of your asking-out moment?

 **Sydeoisie:** Something simple, with plausible deniability in case she’s straight

 **good ol’ marge:** Maybe ask if she wants to share a cookie with u? Subtle, and if she says no, you’ve got that ~plausible deniability~

 **Sydeoisie:** I like that one! 

**Coach Dani:** U can write a letter, leave it at her house, and basically run home so when she reads it and finds out you like her, there’s no fear of rejection in person?

 **good ol’ marge:** idk I feel like that’s immediate anxiety

 **Sydeoisie:** tru, and she might ghost me

 **Tommy-Boy:** Tbh Elena is basically incapable of ghosting anyone. She still checks on Maddie and Louisa's accounts, even though they haven’t been touched for months

 **good ol’ marge:** well Elena didn’t want to ghost them

 **Coach Dani:** I don’t think now is the best time to reach a verdict on whether Elena can ghost people when syd is abt to ask her out

 **Sydeoisie:** y’all don’t need to fight over me it’s cool. I’ll just do the cookie thing.

 **Tommy-Boy:** awesome

**[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**Coach Dani:** sry for snapping at people I’m just really stressed about this  
 **Coach Dani:** Because the vibes haven’t stopped

 **Tommy-Boy:** we just gotta hope for the best at this point. That’s my plan at least

 **Coach Dani:** I feel like we are all capable of a better plan

 **good ol’ marge:** I doubt it tbh

 **Coach Dani:** I just don’t want Syd to get hurt why is everyone making jokes

 **good ol’ marge:** what else are we gonna do? Elena liked who she likes, and Syd will ask Elena out whether we give them permission or not. This is so out of our control, and I’m just gonna be chill

 **Coach Dani:** if it goes south, delete this chat and any screenshots. They can never know.

 **Tommy-Boy:** Deal.

 **good ol’ marge:** Deal.

—

**[gay disaster]**

**Sydeoisie:** so guys....

 

**[WE DEM BOISSS]**

**Coach Dani:** please be ok please be ok please be ok please be ok

 

**[gay disaster]**

**Sydeoisie:** Guess who is now getting ice cream with a certain Disaster Lesbian after sharing a cookie

 

**[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**good ol’ marge:** AHHH I LOVE BEING WRONG OMFG

 **Tommy-Boy:** I can’t believe we almost let the we dem boissss gc die because of a non-issue

 **Coach Dani:** ok someone has to say it

 **Tommy-Boy:** may I do the honor?

 **good ol’ marge:** P L E A S E

 **Tommy-Boy:** WE DEM BOISSSS

 

**gay disaster**

**good ol’ marge:** congrats Syd! We love an icon!

 **Coach Dani:** and so the Sylena ship sails

 **Tommy-Boy:** <3 <3<3

 **Sydeoisie:** I’m so happy omg

 **Coach Dani:** I’m happy for you!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks as always for reading this! Sorry for the late chapter, I’ve got a lot going on with my school's walkout. I hope you comment, and pop on over to my tumblr @thesubtextmachine to check out my blog and/or leave me requests! Have a great day!


	9. Gay Disaster/Day Gisaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pining gcs

_**Elenatariat** added **good ol’ marge** , **Tommy-Boy** , and **Coach Dani** to a group chat_

_**Elenatariat** named the group chat **gay disaster**_

**Elenatariat:** guys I need some help

_**Coach Dani** renamed the group chat **day gisaster**_

**Coach Dani:** I’m in a band called gay disaster.....don’t want to get them mixed up

 **Elenatariat:** I thought your band was Koalamydia

 **Coach Dani:** We changed it

 

**[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**Tommy-Boy:** Nice save

 **good ol’ marge:** u are an icon, Coach

 **Coach Dani:** Thank u thank u. But can I just say that we have been absurdly successful in our mission?

 **good ol’ marge:** right!!! Not one, but TWO group chats with the sole purpose of pining? I love this gay shit

 **Tommy-Boy:** I would love it a lot more if they could actually get together tho  
**Tommy-Boy:** at the very LEAST we gotta get them to set up a date

 

**[day gisaster]**

**Elenatariat:** So first question on the table. How am I going to ask them without putting my foot in my mouth

 **Coach Dani:** uhh say "hey Syd wanna make out at a Waffle House?"  
**Coach Dani:** bam you’re done

 **good ol’ marge:** Waffle House, tho? Upgrade to IHOP

 **Tommy-Boy:** Heresy. We all know that the best restaurant to make out in is Olive Garden

 **Elenatariat:** u are all wrong bc it’s Starbucks, but I want it to be a Date Date. Not just a date where we make out in a bathroom and leave without ordering anything

 **good ol’ marge:** fair point, I’ve done that with platonic friends

 **Tommy-Boy:** you have?

 **good ol’ marge:** Yess but only a few times

 **Coach Dani:** ??????

 **good ol’ marge:** WE ARENT TALKIGN ABOUT ME GUYS BACK ON TASK

 **Elenatariat:** I’m curious, but we can move on  
**Elenatariat:** it’s just,,,, I want it to be an awesome first date but I am such a disaster that I will probably ruin it?? 

**good ol’ marge:** You are the most confident gal I know, you’ll be just fine

 **Elenatariat:** The last thing I’ve texted them was literally "saw a block of red ice cream and thought of you" followed by a "bc of socialism and ice cream... ya feel"

 **Coach Dani:** hmmmm that’s definitely....interesting

 **good ol’ marge:** What did they say

 **Elenatariat:** "lol. I would do the crying laughing emoji but I don’t want to appropriate Hetero Culture"

 **Tommy-Boy:** ........what did you say........

 **Elenatariat:** nothing I got spooked... we haven’t talked since

 **Coach Dani:** Jesus fucking Christ you are a gay disaster

 **good ol’ marge:** spooked???

 **Elenatariat:** I’m a coward and I know it

 **Tommy-Boy:** Elena Alvarez, a coward? No. I refuse the notion

 **Coach Dani:** you just need to master the art of gay dating, or gayting 

**Elenatariat:** ur right, but what can we do together that involves minimal talking and maximum gay?

 **good ol’ marge:** making out?

 **Coach Dani:** ze's right 

**Tommy-Boy:** Yeah. Your mouth will be totally occupied. Perfect plan

 **Elenatariat:** I’ve only made out with a boy,, what if it’s different

 **Coach Dani:** your technique doesn’t change???? You just enjoy it more??.?? This is one of the most exhausting conversations I’ve ever been a part of

 **Tommy-Boy:** let’s all sleep on it

 **Elenatariat:** it’s 3pm

 **Tommy-Boy:** let’s all nap on it

 **Coach Dani:** seconded

 **good ol’ marge:** will do

 

**[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**Coach Dani:** none of us are gonna nap, right?

 **Tommy-Boy:** of course not we need to fix this now

 **good ol’ marge:** Lets get Syd to initiate? They are a functional Lesbian, unlike Disaster Lesbian Alvarez 

**Coach Dani:** let’s go 

 

**[gay disaster]**

**Coach Dani:** so Syd,, fam,,, how are you gonna ask Elena out

 **Sydeoisie:** I don’t know. Does Elena even like me?? She didn’t respond to my last text, and I know that That’s vv clingy but I’m on edge  
**Sydeoisie:** I mean, I made the move last time. Isn’t it her turn?

 **Tommy-Boy:** She def likes you

 **Sydeoisie:** how do you know?

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m pretty sure I have an album with screenshots of gay moments in the gc 

**Coach Dani:** to be fair, in her ig post about us meeting up, she called u a cutie

 **Sydeoisie:** that’s how us gays are though

 **Coach Dani:** You were the only person who got a shoutout like that. It was just "nice meeting coach, tommy-boy, ol' marge, and Sydeoisie (who is a total cutie, by the way)"  
**Coach Dani:** even for Elena it was pretty brazen

 **Sydeoisie:** that’s trueee but I’m still apprehensive as hecc 

**Tommy-Boy:** I get why but I gotta acknowledge that she’s a gay disaster

 **Sydeoisie:** I’m the gay disaster! That’s the name of the chat for a reason!

 **good ol’ marge:** u guys have a fuckin couple name in the group chat

 **Tommy-Boy:** You seem to under the impression that gal pals do all this gay shit on the regular when in fact,,, they do not

 **good ol’ marge:** ^^^^

 **Sydeoisie:** Thomas u aren’t even a wlw shut up

 **Coach Dani:** he’s right tho  
**Coach Dani:** I’m wlw and I don’t do this stuff with you OR Elena  
**Coach Dani:** this is all u and her

 **Sydeoisie:** I’ve been betrayed by my own

 **Coach Dani:** Ask her out.... if u think you’re a gay disaster, Elena is 10x worse

 **Sydeoisie:** She’s so smart though!!!

 **good ol’ marge:** ???she knows all of the choreography to All In This Together and demonstrated it for us?? She took a video and knew damn well that we would all save it and use it for blackmail but she still shared it??.?

 **Sydeoisie:** but she’s so good at writing! And debate!

 **Coach Dani:** Elena drew a diagram of a vagina on a picnic table in broad daylight.... u were there...

 **Sydeoisie:** it was kinda hot tbh

 **Tommy-Boy:** S T O P

 **Sydeoisie:** I’m not gonna lie! Love a girl who knows her anatomy!!  
**Sydeoisie:** and I think she’s gotta be smart to have all that memorized

 **Coach Dani:** Shes a disaster gay and you know it

 **Sydeoisie:** I’m easily a bigger diaster 

**Tommy-Boy:** She sent us the link to the first tumblr blog she ever had and u think she’s not a disaster??

 

 **Sydeoisie:** yea that was pretty funny  
**Sydeoisie:** she tagged everything with #funny and #haha it was cute

 **Coach Dani:** disgusting.... nobody's first tumblr is cute

 **Sydeoisie:** ANYWAY I’m gonna wait for her to ask me out and that’s final  
**Sydeoisie:** I will not compromise

 

 **[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**Tommy-Boy:** ok team how are we gonna get out of this mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! I hope u enjoyed the thickening of the plot! Please leave a comment, I love those so much... and follow my tumblr @thesubtextmachine, where you can drop me an ask/prompt that I would love to answer!! Stay cool, readers!


	10. Louisa isn’t ready u guys

**[pronoun squad]**

**good ol’ marge:** ok so who remembers Moon Eyed Louisa?

**Coach Dani:** uhhh me?  
 **Coach Dani:** I wrote a whole fuckin song about her?

**good ol’ marge:** well guess who just had a conversation with her on instagram and she is all for rejoining the squad

**Tommy-Boy:** oooh nice

**Elenatariat:** Any news on Maddie?

**good ol’ marge:** Still on the lookout, but Louisa has one stipulation before she joins this chat

**Coach Dani:** ??

**good ol’ marge:** Elena and Syd need to work their stuff out

**Coach Dani:** good stipulation

 

**[WE DEM BOISSSS]**

**Tommy-Boy:** Is that an actual demand?

**good ol’ marge:** lol no, figured I should try it tho

 

**[pronoun squad]**

**Sydeoisie:** What stuff 

**Tommy-Boy:** you know what stuff... now fix it before I bring out the screenshots

**Elenatariat:** What screenshots??

**Coach Dani:** BOIIII WE HAVE SCREENSHOTS ON YOU TOO DONT MESS AROUND

**Elenatariat:** I have done nothing wrong ever

**Sydeoisie:** I know this, and I love you

**Tommy-Boy:** ok do that but this time don’t make it a meme

**Coach Dani:** if we have to have group therapy about this.....

**good ol’ marge:** Louisa is waiting...............

**Elenatariat:** FINE I’ll stop being a dumb gay

**Tommy-Boy:** Is that even possible

**Coach Dani:** no she’s making good steps let’s not hold her back  
 **Coach Dani:** What Do You Have To Say To Syd, Elena??!??

**Elenatariat:** Ilikeyoualotwannagoonadate

**good ol’ marge:** gay disaster. I’m proud of you

**Sydeoisie:** thank god, I was worried you were going to confess that you had no interest in me or something

**Elenatariat:** a) you are fantastic and I would never have to confess that to you and b) why would the entire gc be egging me on if that were the case

**Sydeoisie:** u right, u right

**Coach Dani:** I’m in tears,,, I love it when my friends aren’t dumb

**good ol’ marge:** how do u justify me then

**Coach Dani:** don’t ruin the moment

**Tommy-Boy:** So......our good ol' marge.....

**good ol’ marge:** ?

**Tommy-Boy:** Ready to add Louisa into the chat?

**Elenatariat:** Considering that I just risked public rejection, you better be

**Coach Dani:** but did you really? Did you r e a l l y

**Elenatariat:** Now is not the time for roasting me...... it is the time for getting our girl Louisa back in our lives

**Sydeoisie:** it's always time to roast Elena  
 **Sydeoisie:** Roast her with looooove

**Elenatariat:** BABE

**Tommy-Boy:** it’s been three minutes and you guys have already taken this too far

**Elenatariat:** ADD LOUISA

**good ol’ marge:** FINE

_**good ol' marge** added **Louisa** to **pronoun squad**_

_**Coach Dani** changed **Louisa** 's name to **moon eyed louisa**_

**moon eyed louisa:** hey

**Tommy-Boy:** WOOHOO OUR GIRL IS BACK

**good ol’ marge:** Finally, another 10 in this group chat

**Elenatariat:** L O U I S A MY LOVE

**Sydeoisie:** ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh welcome

**Coach Dani:** I’m gonna cry u guys

**moon eyed louisa:** What’s poppin, my homeslices

**Sydeoisie:** MARGEAUX HOW DID YOU FIND THIS ANGEL

**good ol’ marge:** I’m a master at insta stalking  
 **good ol’ marge:** All I had to do was find her synagogue's page, where they posted about active volunteers. Bam. Louisa is tagged. We love a consistent volunteer

**moon eyed louisa:** yeah, I kinda quit ballet?? So I have more time for charity and stuff

**Coach Dani:** u quit ballet?

**moon eyed louisa:** Yeah, uhhh, it wasn’t a good fit for me

**good ol’ marge:** we can’t all be Natalie Portman in Black Swan

**moon eyed louisa:** I know ur trying to relate to me by using everything you know about ballet but that one was weak, even for you

**Coach Dani:** U gotta find more obscure movies to awkwardly reference

**good ol’ marge:** are we bringing back this game??? Because I’m totally ready to win but it’s kind of up to y'all how many forum traditions we want to bring into this new era

**Sydeoisie:** UGH the movie reference game.... I always lost.... still play tho

**Elenatariat:** Margeaux is too overpowered in it bc of her grandma's movie collection

**good ol’ marge:** it’s not my fault that I’m bougie as hell

**Tommy-Boy:** As fun as it would be to figure out who could reference the most obscure movie, even I gotta admit that Marge has too much free time and is bougie as hell

**Sydeoisie:** have i lost my title as best bourgeoisie? Who even am i anymore

**Elenatariat:** Don’t worry, on all levels except physical, you are bourgeois  
 **Elenatariat:** Marge is that missing physical level  
 **Elenatariat:** on literally all other levels ze is the anti-bourgeoisie

**good ol’ marge:** no printer just fax

**moon eyed louisa:** I am pretty bougie though, u guys got to admit..... i have made out with a communist who also spoke french

**Tommy-Boy:** Wait, did you make out with Ryan from high school musical

**moon eyed louisa:** ?????¿¿I do not like that one bit

**Coach Dani:** ok bullSHIT you KNOW that Ryan was a latin bitch  
 **Coach Dani:** if you think that he would speak a language that wasn’t dead I’m gonna break into your house and replace every DVD in your house with a DVD of one episode of Seinfeld

**Tommy-Boy:** which one

**Coach Dani:** I don’t know. I’ve never seen Seinfeld

**moon eyed louisa:** What the fuck did I just get myself into

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right! I didnt forget that plotline!!!
> 
> Also comments make me happy in these trying, trying times. If you want to go the extra mile, follow me on tumblr @thesubtextmachine, where I am all down for receiving asks and requests!!
> 
> Stay cool!


	11. Skinny Legs McGee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of discourse

**[day gisaster]**

**Elenatariat:** ok so I’m a dumb idiot but guess who got kissed last night  
 **Elenatariat:** almost got in trouble with the cops for breaking the lockdown but still, making out is NICE

 **good ol’ marge:** U may be a dumb idiot but we all love you and are proud of u

 **Tommy-Boy:** I can confirm. It has the Tommy-Boy seal of approval

 **Coach Dani:** that’s all cool.....but trouble with the cops???

 **Elenatariat:** yea we kinda made out on my balcony while a lockdown was going on and the police told us to go inside from what I think was a megaphone?  
 **Elenatariat:** It kinda ruined the mood

 **good ol’ marge:** : homophobia is real???

 **Coach Dani:** is it homophobic if they were putting themselves in danger tho

 **Tommy-Boy:** they were already putting themselves in danger by kissing tho

 **Coach Dani:** ???

 **good ol’ marge:** ....... what

 **Tommy-Boy:** Herpes

 **Elenatariat:** Okay I officially do not like this conversation

 **good ol’ marge:** now I love stds as much as the next person but we shouldn’t talk about herpes while I’m having breakfast

 **Coach Dani:** wtf Margeaux it’s 2pm

 **good ol’ marge:** anything is breakfast if u try hard enough

 **Coach Dani:** WTF THATS SO CRYPTIC

 **Tommy-Boy:** 0 stars I dislike that

 **Elenatariat:** says the herpes man

 **Tommy-Boy:** I bring up herpes ONCE and suddenly I’m the Herpes Man????

 **good ol’ marge:** yes.

 **Tommy-Boy:** THIS is biphobia

 **good ol’ marge:** is it biphobia if I’m bi tho

 **Tommy-Boy:** according to Law and Order, it is possible for a gay man to commit a hate crime against gay people, so yes. That goes for all branches of LGBTQ. I didn’t watch every single episode of Law and Order to not know this

 **Coach Dani:** my good dude....... You do know that a Law and Order episode doesn’t hold the same weight as an actual legal precedent, right?

 **Elenatariat:** I think the most important part of that is that he’s actually seen every single episode. That’s a lot of television bro

 **Tommy-Boy:** OG Law and Order, Criminal intent, and SVU. I am an encyclopedia   
**Tommy-Boy:** also I don’t think u can judge, you’ve seen all of Degrassi

 **good ol’ marge:** that’s fair..... there are more than 20 seasons of that show..... and you have seen all the way from Kids of Degrassi Street to the Netflix stuff which is a feat

 **Coach Dani:** u can’t roast me. All of Degrassi is not equivalent to all the combined episodes of every Law and Order series

 **Elenatariat:** I’m going to the main gc to host a poll

 

**[pronoun squad]**

**Elenatariat:** you guys I have a big existential question 

**moon eyed louisa:** yeah?

 **Elenatariat:** is watching all seasons of Degrassi comparable to watching all seasons of Law and Order (OG, SVU, and criminal intent)

 **Sydeoisie:** ABSOLUTELY NOT  
 **Sydeoisie:** also hi babe

 **Coach Dani:** lol gay

 **moon eyed louisa:** idk are we counting all of the Degrassi movies? And the specials (eighties interview series and the retrospective special)

 **Coach Dani:** Wait Louisa do u know as much about my favorite Canadian Social Justice Soap Opera as I do?

 **Tommy-Boy:** that’s bs. Even counting movies, there is no way that the episode count is comparable. Degrassi episodes are like 21 minutes, while Law and Order have a standard 42 minutes length. There are more episodes and they are longer. This conversation is DUMB

 **Sydeoisie:** I think we found the only thing that could make Thomas truly fired up

 **moon eyed louisa:** Listen as someone who has watched Degrassi throughout my middle school and high school life, I can confidently tell you that watching Degrassi is 10x more effort than L &O. You have to have an extensive knowledge of the characters and their histories and relationships, or ur running blind. L&O was made for someone to turn on the TV, and watch without any context of what came before. Law and Order is the television equivalent of easy listening and that’s what makes Degrassi a more impressive marathon television with an absurd amount of episodes

 **Sydeoisie:** damn

 **Coach Dani:** and in this essay I will

 **Elenatariat:** that’s valid. So points for complexity versus quantity?

 **Tommy-Boy:** I disagree

 **good ol’ marge:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

 **Tommy-Boy:** Law and Order May be more contained in its own episode, but there are certainly plenty of plots that go throughout the season

 **Coach Dani:** but Degrassi is still a more inherently complex show... that.... doesn’t change........

 **Elenatariat:** what did I start when I launched this poll

 **Sydeoisie:** Some good academic discussion

 **good ol’ marge:** You also revealed the inner psyches of most people here, also

 **Elenatariat:** did I though?

 **moon eyed louisa:** I’m gonna write an essay about this and share the pdf with you when it’s done. MLA cited, bitch

 **Tommy-Boy:** FUCK YOU ILL WRITE MY OWN ESSAY

 **good ol’ marge:** what the hell is happening to Thomas

 **Coach Dani:** A lot, apparently. 

**Tommy-Boy:** sorry for losing my cool

 **Elenatariat:** It's chill. Are you on any message boards for this show? Bc you seen to be a v passionate fan

 **Tommy-Boy:** I used to be but I got kicked off

 **moon eyed louisa:** what did you do???!????!

 **Tommy-Boy:** The mods had a vendetta   
**Tommy-Boy:** I got into a fight with one of them on PM about a show runner and it didn’t end well

 **Coach Dani:** Thomas' alter ego???

 **Sydeoisie:** I am......terrified

 **Elenatariat:** I’ll protect u

 **good ol’ marge:** lol gay

 **moon eyed louisa:** Where’s my forum bae to come comfort me???

 **Tommy-Boy:** you’ve got two options in this chat... me and Margeaux. Dani's got a gf, and Sylena are doing their Marxist romance thing

 **Elenatariat:** ;)

 **moon eyed louisa:** Hmmmmmmmmm

 **good ol’ marge:** The Bachelorette.. chose between a Law and Order fanboy or a relentless cad

 **Coach Dani:** cad?

 **good ol’ marge:** It's old-timey slang for "player", I think  
 **good ol’ marge:** I just got it from Sound of Music

 **moon eyed louisa:** hot

 **Sydeoisie:** Wait Louisa u broke up with ur boyfriend? 

**Elenatariat:** Can I call him Skinny Legs McGee now

 **moon eyed louisa:** Yes and No

 **Elenatariat:** but u guys aren’t dating anymore

 **moon eyed louisa:** You Never Saw His Legs??

 **Elenatariat:** but I bet they’re skinny

 **moon eyed louisa:** I’m gonna focus on the not-ridiculous part of this conversation and say that yes, we aren’t dating. He broke up with me bc I was apparently too much to handle

 **good ol’ marge:** I never trusted him and his skinny legs

 **moon eyed louisa:** S T O P

 **Coach Dani:** that sucks

 **moon eyed louisa:** Yeah, I went through a rough patch and he just couldn’t handle it. I don’t blame him, though. 

**Elenatariat:** I DO

 **moon eyed louisa:** and he was also in ballet so when I quit it was harder to find time to spent together. All in all, I’m glad it ended, but boy do I miss being able to talk about having an bf.

 **Sydeoisie:** well there’s always tomorrow! And ur in one of the best cities for finding hot teens who like girls!

 **moon eyed louisa:** tru tru

 **good ol’ marge:** also if u wanna make out in restaurant bathroom, I’ve got u

 **moon eyed louisa:** thank GOD. I miss that more than anything

 **Elenatariat:** but always remember: you’ve got a squad with a bunch of pronouns and endless support for u  
 **Elenatariat:** Even if it involves u being with Skinny Legs McGee

 **moon eyed louisa:** thats sweet but please never say that again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry for this crazy long wait, I’ve been sleeping as much as humanly possible to get everything I missed from the school year. Please comment, and check me out on tumblr @thesubtextmachine!


	12. I can yeet for that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani has a fight with her gf and Margeaux says some weird shit

**[pronoun squad]**

**Coach Dani:** UGHHHHHH  
 **Coach Dani:** I want 2 die

 **Sydeoisie:** what’s going on?

 **Coach Dani:** I’m fighting with my gf and I just want it to be overrrr

 **good ol’ marge:** yikes why are y’all fighting

 **Coach Dani:** Her parents were rude to me and she didn’t say anything about it to them and I got really hurt over it and it turned into one of those fights where we brought up all the small things we ignored and now there’s like,,, 13 problems to solve at once

 **Elenatariat:** Big Yikes. I have two dumb questions

 **Coach Dani:** please ask them

 **Elenatariat:** first and foremost, what's her name?

 **Coach Dani:** Sade

 **Elenatariat:** Cool. Second: have u made a list

 **Coach Dani:** mmmmm no?

 **Tommy-Boy:** A list of what

 **Elenatariat:** all the conflicts that were brought up? Because if you have all of them concrete u can do like,,, action items for each so it doesn’t feel like there’s something unresolved

 **moon eyed louisa:** Elena u are such a camp counselor I love it

 **Coach Dani:** ok, I’ll try. How should I organize it

 **Sydeoisie:** maybe a venn diagram? Problems she has, problems u have, and problems u both have?

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m yeet for that.... just probably don’t do the circles bc they are formatting nightmares just do a three columned table with the same idea

 **good ol’ marge:** this is all serious advice but are we gonna ignore Thomas saying "I’m yeet for that"

 **Elenatariat:** I’m conflicted on whether we should examine that or continue to problem solve for this issue.... Dani what do you think

 **Coach Dani:** I’m gonna write out my list y’all can examine the "yeet" stuff if u want

 **good ol’ marge:** ok cool

 **Tommy-Boy:** no stay.... I don’t wanna get bullied for being a meme

 **Coach Dani:** Listen son.... you dug your grave with WE DEM BOISSSS u aren’t getting out

 **Tommy-Boy:** how dare you use that moment of weakness against me

 **Sydeoisie:** Tommy-boy, if memes are your moments of weakness you are always weak

 **Elenatariat:** Roast him babe

 **moon eyed louisa:** I say that we can forgive him for "yeet". We Dem Bois may be a different scenario, but as someone who said yeet when I got a tip yesterday, I can forgive it

 **good ol’ marge:** nah fam it’s "We dem boissss" with 4 's's

 **Tommy-Boy:** I can’t believe you’ve signed this into law

 **Sydeoisie:** Civil disobedience is spelling it with "sss"

 **Elenatariat:** what if u use 5

 **good ol’ marge:** Death

 **Elenatariat:** We dem boisssss

 **Sydeoisie:** ELENA NO  
 **Sydeoisie:** I NEED SOEMONE TO MAKE OUT WITH

 **good ol’ marge:** Elena how could u do that to Syd

 **Elenatariat:** I’m sorry that my curiosity deprived Syd of someone to make out with

 **Sydeoisie:** u could put that curiosity in so many more useful places ;)

 **good ol’ marge:** there is a private message function

 **Tommy-Boy:** Don’t sext on the group chat

 **Elenatariat:** FINE we'll keep it on pm  
 **Elenatariat:** but @Syd I wondered if it could be the other way

 **moon eyed louisa:** PRIVATE MESSAGE

 **Tommy-Boy:** what does that even mean

 **good ol’ marge:** do you want to find out???

 **Tommy-Boy:** ur right, I don’t

 **moon eyed louisa:** Elena? Syd?

 **good ol’ marge:** oh my god they actually went on private message.... I’m proud

 **Tommy-Boy:** at least some folks on this chat are getting some

 **moon eyed louisa:** that's the single mood

 **good ol’ marge:** well, as the last three standing, I suppose that we are in an interesting position

 **Tommy-Boy:** that’s what she said?

 **good ol’ marge:** I’m So Proud

 **moon eyed louisa:** what position tho

 **good ol’ marge:** I have no idea I just know that it’s interesting

 **Tommy-Boy:** I can imagine u physically holding back a threesome joke

 **good ol’ marge:** you know me so well  
 **good ol’ marge:** <3

 **moon eyed louisa:** wow keep ur nsfw on PM

 **Tommy-Boy:** affection is nsfw it’s official

 **good ol’ marge:** hugs are a sex act now I’m sorry

 **moon eyed louisa:** but yo have y’all ever thought of dating each other

 **Tommy-Boy:** marge are u even attracted to guys?

 **good ol’ marge:** yeah? I like their chicken-wing shaped calves

 **moon eyed louisa:** there is.... a lot to unpack there

 **good ol’ marge:** They look like chicken wings!!!!! I love them

 **Tommy-Boy:** now that I’m examining my calves closely I can’t help but agree with you

 **moon eyed louisa:** but those are some hairy-ass chicken wings

 **good ol’ marge:** that’s how I like em

 **moon eyed louisa:** How do I leave a group chat???

 **Tommy-Boy:** I wish I knew

 **moon eyed louisa:** Margeaux how do I express to u how existentially terrifying that was  
 **moon eyed louisa:** Where are the words???

 **Tommy-Boy:** Margeaux is the real lovecraftian horror

 **good ol’ marge:** ;) that’s me babes

 **moon eyed louisa:** She doesn’t follow any laws of our known existence... she just likes her chicken wings hairy

 **good ol’ marge:** what can I say?? That’s just how I am

 **Tommy-Boy:** and We love u for it

 **good ol’ marge:** thx babe

 **Coach Dani:** okay so I just finished making my list and uhhhhh what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! As you probably know by now, by tumblr is @thesubtextmachine and i am so open for prompts, u guys. Thanks for reading!!!


	13. Gayme Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marge can be smart/emotionally intelligent sometimes

**[pronoun squad]**

**moon eyed louisa:** 911? Can I order a hit on myself?

 **Coach Dani:** what’s wrong????

 **moon eyed louisa:** I have no game and I just embarrassed myself in the middle of a Target

 **Tommy-Boy:** tell me more, tell me more

 **moon eyed louisa:** I was walking up to a cute girl to say hi and I may or may not have fallen onto the cage of balls? Causing a ruckus and the girl to walk off into the mist while I was screeching in pain because those hurt

 **Sydeoisie:** omg why’d you fall

 **moon eyed louisa:** I was trying to figure out a pickup line and I just sorta,,, tilted and tripped

 **good ol’ marge:** SWEATY NO  
 **good ol’ marge:** I can give u game lessons

 **Tommy-Boy:** I don’t think it has anything to do with her game I think it’s 100% clumsiness 

**Elenatariat:** no don’t stop zir I wanna see what ze comes up with

 **Sydeoisie:** Seconded. Margaux? Teach us ur ways

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m terrified

 **moon eyed louisa:** I need game wherever I can get it give me ur wisdom 

**Coach Dani:** I'm sensing that this is gonna be a disaster

 **good ol’ marge:** I prefer "hot mess"

 **moon eyed louisa:** your wisdom.... hand it over

 **good ol’ marge:** ok where should I start

 **Tommy-Boy:** yeah how will u organize this

 **Coach Dani:** Start with "pre-walking up to cute person", "first interaction", and then "post-that"

 **good ol’ marge:** ok kids then let’s start  
 **good ol’ marge:** first off, we gotta make sure that we're cute

 **moon eyed louisa:** shit first item failed

 **Coach Dani:** SHUT UP u graceful, beautiful mollusk

 **good ol’ marge:** Dani is right. First item passed. Second item in part one. How gay do u look?

 **moon eyed louisa:** my hairdresser asks me if I have a boyfriend? So uhh pretty straight?

 **good ol’ marge:** hmmm

 **Sydeoisie:** but u do have an undeniable gay cadence

 **Elenatariat:** and that’s super important... me and Syd can be p straight looking but we talk/sound/act gay enough that it doesn’t get confused TOO often

 **moon eyed louisa:** oh yeah then I’ve got gay-ass cadence

 **Coach Dani:** by "speaking gay" Do u just mean quoting tumblr memes in romantic situations

 **Elenatariat:** stop roasting me for that ONE TIME

 **Tommy-Boy:** Tea?

 **Sydeoisie:** one time after we kissed at literally my front door Elena looked me right in the eyes and said "I diagnose you with triple gay" which was already a dead meme when she said it

 **Coach Dani:** the fact that Elena has enough finesse to get a gf still amazes me to this day

 **Sydeoisie:** finesse is.... not the word I would use to describe how Elena and I got together

 **Tommy-Boy:** Elena "me, gay" Alvarez has all the game I’m sorry

 **moon eyed louisa:** speaking of game can we stop talking about how Elena is a gay nerd and get me a gf

 **good ol’ marge:** right right I’m on it, where were we

 **Coach Dani:** Louisa looking gay

 **good ol’ marge:** ok so next up in the pre-walking up, we learn the magic of spotting a single gay girl

 **moon eyed louisa:** now THIS is what I need... nonverbal readings of cute girls? Please

 **good ol’ marge:** u will not like the answer

 **Coach Dani:** That’s ominous

 **moon eyed louisa:** .......what’s the answer

 **good ol’ marge:** You need to talk to her

 **moon eyed louisa:** FUCK YOU

 **good ol’ marge:** I knew this would happen

 **Sydeoisie:** louisa: wait a minute u need to talk to a girl to date her? What the fuck?? How dare you?

 **good ol’ marge:** literally you will never be able to confirm whether she’s available if u don’t get her to bring it up 

**moon eyed louisa:** I hate this

 **good ol’ marge:** I don’t know how to tell u that most stereotypical markers are rarely indicative of her actual availability

 **Sydeoisie:** like that?

 **Elenatariat:** Louisa hate to break it to u but she’s right

 **Coach Dani:** Sade looked kinda gay when I met her and when we started talking I found out that she was super gay AND single  
 **Coach Dani:** but if I never started talking to her we would’ve never gotten together

 **Sydeoisie:** yeah I low key wondered if Elena was straight when we first met and we had to actually have that convo when we were still friends

 **moon eyed louisa:** Listen  
 **moon eyed louisa:** I know that the only way to know for sure is to hear her say it BUT  
 **moon eyed louisa:** are there any loopholes???

 **good ol’ marge:** let’s just move on to the "first interaction" part bc u know the answer to that one

 **Tommy-Boy:** So is the first rule "don’t trip onto a cage of bouncy balls"

 **good ol’ marge:** not necessarily  
 **good ol’ marge:** Because if u have enough game you can recover from something like that

 **Elenatariat:** so the walk to the cutie is fair game?

 **good ol’ marge:** yes  
 **good ol’ marge:** but what MATTERS is how u introduce yourself

 **Tommy-Boy:** PSA to Louisa- >you have to introduce yourself

 **moon eyed louisa:** stop bullying me 

**good ol’ marge:** step one, look at your setting. In a class with you? Ask about homework or smth until the conversation grows. Someone in the movie theatre before the movie starts? Start a lil something about the movie. Always start with what you have in common, aka where you are

 **Sydeoisie:** sounds legit enough

 **good ol’ marge:** step two, conversation is blooming? Assess the sitch. Wanna make the jump to ask for a number? Or perhaps wanna leave it alone if u don’t click or anything? Make a decision. This is literally my best advice. You can love talking to her and then just forget to ask for a number, it happens all the time

 **Coach Dani:** woah I was expecting joke pickup lines not legit advice

 **Tommy-Boy:** same here but I’m not even mad

 **good ol’ marge:** step three: if u want the number, politely ASK FOR IT. You miss all the shots you don’t take. If she's not feeling it and doesn’t want to give it to u, then respect that. If she has an SO, say that ur glad to have made a new friend. You’re putting yourself out there, which is brave, and even if it doesn’t turn out perfectly, you still tried

 **moon eyed louisa:** that’s valid

 **Elenatariat:** so what if Louisa gets the number what next

 **good ol’ marge:** send a text when the person is out of sight. Sometimes people give fake numbers bc of anxiety and that’s ok, put yourself in their shoes. Texting them in front of them can be confrontational if u were the one to ask, if that makes sense  
**good ol’ marge:** if it’s the right number, text them! Have conversations! Make a friend who might turn into something more!

 **Tommy-Boy:** smort

 **Coach Dani:** Thomas what the fuck

 **Tommy-Boy:** it’s how I say "smart" now

 **good ol’ marge:** and thus concludes my guide to game

 **Elenatariat:** thank u marge but also Thomas???

 **Tommy-Boy:** it’s just one letter change why are y’all getting worked up

 **Sydeoisie:** Toomas   
**Sydeoisie:** one letrer maked a diffarence 

**Tommy-Boy:** no

 **moon eyed louisa:** doet is?

 **Elenatariat:** ues 

**Tommy-Boy:** what are u guys even saying anymore

 **good ol’ marge:** we're proving a point

 **Tommy-Boy:** let me have my smort 

**Sydeoisie:** Lets give him the luxury

 **Coach Dani:** Thomas your ability to derail a conversation never ceases to amaze me

 **Tommy-Boy:** thank u


	14. Platonic Love is,,, my fave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids start a chant and also we welcome someone,,, I spoiled it to someone I’m so sorry

**[pronoun squad]**

**Elenatariat:** YOU GUYS  
 **Elenatariat:** the Woman, the Myth, the Legend has been FOUND

_**Elenatariat** added **Maddie** to the chat_

**Maddie:** sup nerds

 **Tommy-Boy:** MADDIE  
 **Tommy-Boy:** HOLY SHIT I THOUGHT WE LOST YOU  
 **Tommy-Boy:** I WAS WORR IED

 **good ol’ marge:** oh my god I’m gonna fuckn cry Elena how’d u do it

 **Sydeoisie:** My gf is the best detective in the world.... Law and Order could never.....

 **good ol’ marge:** Syd did u know this would happen

 **Sydeoisie:** maybe

 **Tommy-Boy:** AGH just tell me how ur doing Maddie

 **Maddie:** pretty good??? I came out to my moms and they're helping me transition? I’m just?? Not in a depressive episode rn?? And I uhh missed you guys dsljhhgoubsdjnlwdfoiaef

 **good ol’ marge:** I’d die for you  
 **good ol’ marge:** I’d kill for you

 **Sydeoisie:** tell the story of how my brilliant gf found you

 **Maddie:** well basically Elena just did some serious online filtering and found my insta  
 **Maddie:** And by serious I mean that Criminal Minds would be envious of her skills, she was not fuckin around

 **Tommy-Boy:** how long did it take u, Elena?

 **Elenatariat:** Way too long. So long that you wouldn’t think that I’m cool anymore.

 **Sydeoisie:** the answer is three weeks of devoted work

 **Elenatariat:** SYD NOW NO ONE WILL THINK IM COOL

 **good ol’ marge:** no one thought u were cool, necessarily, before we were just in awe of your determination and bRains

 **Maddie:** idk I think she’s cool

 **Sydeoisie:** ^^^ seconded

 **moon eyed louisa:** holy shit I just picked up my phone  
 **moon eyed louisa:** MADDIE, my online scrabble buddy? My selfie guru? As I live and breathe?

 **Maddie:** yes I am all of those

 **moon eyed louisa:** I’m so happy?!

 **Maddie:** lol did y’all think I died or smth??

 **good ol’ marge:** ......kinda

 **Tommy-Boy:** we were worried about u? Like we were hoping that you didn’t but it seemed like too real of a possibility to ignore  
 **Tommy-Boy:** It wasn’t the most likely possibility for sure but  
 **Tommy-Boy:** I mean do u get what I’m saying?

 **Maddie:** I think so

 **moon eyed louisa:** oof this is heavier than I was expecting uhh keep it on pm

 **Elenatariat:** Sad on Main

 **Sydeoisie:** Absolutely Honest and Loving Our Friends but Worried about Making Them Uncomfortable on Main

 **Maddie:** I see that  
 **Maddie:** but fam, it’s all cool

 **Elenatariat:** Ur not fam Maddie, ur B A E

 **Maddie:** BRO

 **Tommy-Boy:** heteros are fam, LGBTQ+ are Bae  
 **Tommy-Boy:** (generally)  
 **Tommy-Boy:** aphobes? Terfs? Neither fam NOR Bae. It’s simply not tolerated in this chat

 **Sydeoisie:** Gospel Truth spoken by my favorite man

 **good ol’ marge:** we are.... so in sync I love it

 **moon eyed louisa:** I’m feeling love for my friends in this chili's tonight

 **Tommy-Boy:** something's missing  
 **Tommy-Boy:** this love fest is missing one vital player

 **Elenatariat:** DANI WHERE R U

 **Sydeoisie:** WE NEED U

 **good ol’ marge:** do we just need to love Dani without her being here?

 **moon eyed louisa:** I am ready and willing 

**Coach Dani:** don’t worry guys I’m here  
 **Coach Dani:** But please shower me with affection I just got broken up with and I need to know that I’m loved  
 **Coach Dani:** Also hi Maddie I lov u

 **Elenatariat:** Fuck??? Why would Sade do that

 **Coach Dani:** We’ve been fighting for too long about this parent thing and she's tired of it bc she knows I won’t give up

 **Sydeoisie:** BBY I LOVE YOU TO THE END OF MY DAYS

 **Maddie:** idk who Sade is but I can kick her ass if u want

 **Coach Dani:** nah we ended it on a Technically Amiable note so there’d be no point

 **Tommy-Boy:** Technically Amiable?

 **Coach Dani:** it’s when she asks if u can still be your friend and u say yes despite the fact that she hurt you deeply because u don’t want to be called the vindictive one and guilted by all ur mutual friends

 **moon eyed louisa:** damn is there anything I can do

 **Coach Dani:** I have no idea

 **Elenatariat:** I'm gonna give u a big hug,, the biggest most comfortable hug you’ve ever seen

 **Coach Dani:** <3

 **Maddie:** omg let’s have a meetup! I missed the mythical last one that ended with a ~love connection~, and I wanna hug u!!1!

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m pretty heckin down for that

 **good ol’ marge:** same here, I’m free on Sunday

 **Sydeoisie:** so am I! Me and Elena have a date then, so as long as we schedule it before that, it’s all good

 **Elenatariat:** yeah we have tickets to a double feature of Mamma Mia AND Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again so we're taken from 6-11pm

 **moon eyed louisa:** Gay afternoon on the town? Then we make like a banana and split so Elena and Syd can do their thing?

 **Coach Dani:** I’m so down oh my god,, I need y’all to comfort me with memes and hugs

 **good ol’ marge:** I’m sending virtual hugs as I tyPE

 **Maddie:** So Sunday? Where should we meet? 

**Tommy-Boy:** Dani what’s your favorite store in our area

 **Coach Dani:** guys u don’t have to

 **Sydeoisie:** You have good taste I trust u

 **moon eyed louisa:** Spill the Beanz

 **Coach Dani:** it’s Lush

 **Elenatariat:** it’s decided!!

 **Maddie:** we meet at lush... we walk for ice cream or smth.. buy stuff...   
**Maddie:** Gay! Night! On the town!

 **moon eyed louisa:** GAY NIGHT  
 **moon eyed louisa:** ON THE TOWN

 **Tommy-Boy:** say it with me

 **Coach Dani:** GAY NIGHT ON THE TOWN

 **Sydeoisie:** Gay? Night? On the town?

 **Elenatariat:** HE CK YEAH GAY NIGHT ON THE TOOOOWN

 **good ol’ marge:** y’all nerds I love y’all  
 **good ol’ marge:** and I cannot wait for  
 **good ol’ marge:** oour GAY NIGHT ON THE TOWN

 **Coach Dani:** I feel platonic love in this chili’s tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all enjoyed! Please comment/kudos/whatever the youngsters do these days. If you want to leave a request, shoot me an ask on tumblr @thesubtextmachine! See you guys next time!


	15. Gay NIGHT.    On the TO WN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol gay

**[pronoun squad]**

**good ol’ marge:** ok so I’m gonna write a workplace comedy and there will be this scene  
 **good ol’ marge:** where one of the older coworkers walks in, lookin totally wrecked, right? One character is like "woah Gerald, looks like you had a wild weekend" and he responds "what can I say? Me and the lady watched Shrek"

 **Tommy-Boy:** ummm do I not get this because I’m ace or bc marge is the human personification of the Galaxy Brain

 **Coach Dani:** Thomas ur ace?

 **Tommy-Boy:** heck yeah, I’ve been trying to find a casual way to make a joke about it to come out 

**Elenatariat:** god that’s a mood

 **Sydeoisie:** Margeaux I will personally green light this office sitcom  
 **Sydeoisie:** tell me more

 **good ol’ marge:** Gerald goes fishing with a character, and there’s a tiny-ass fish in his hand, right? After hours of work and then

 **moon eyed louisa:** I’m shivering with anticipation

 **good ol’ marge:** he looks down, and says "being god is the loneliest achievement of them all. I never thought I’d have to learn that"

 **Maddie:** can I pitch something to u

 **good ol’ marge:** yes

 **Maddie:** he says this and then he swallows the fish whole while it’s still alive

 **Coach Dani:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **Tommy-Boy:** Maddie I love you but why would you ever say something like that

 **Maddie:** because I’m a comedy god

 **Sydeoisie:** Listen I was excited for our Gay Night on the Town but now I’m a bit worried for the Lunch portion

 **Elenatariat:** don’t worry babe if Maddie tries to eat a live fish I’ll cover your eyes

 **Maddie:** lol u say that like u can FIND a live sardine at a California restaurant... haha u gotta get those boys fresh from the lake

 **moon eyed louisa:** .... How do you Know This???

 **good ol’ marge:** don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to

 **Elenatariat:** guys stop kink shaming Maddie  
 **Elenatariat:** She’s been through enough

 **Coach Dani:** Why do you say these things

_**Sydeoisie** changed **Maddie’s** name to **Fish Friend**_

**Fish Friend:** oh my fucking god  
 **Fish Friend:** is this my legacy

 **Tommy-Boy:** short answer? Yes  
 **Tommy-Boy:** long answer? YES

 **moon eyed louisa:** god this is my favorite thing 

**Elenatariat:** Shape of Water Who??? I only know Maddie

 **Fish Friend:** ;)

 **good ol’ marge:** Before you type, THINK. Is it THOUGHTFUL?? HELPFUL?? INSPIRING??? NECESSARY!!!!???!!? K I N D???!!

 **Coach Dani:** y’all are nerds  
 **Coach Dani:** I’m turning my phone off so I can drive to meet y’all at lush,, Maddie don’t vore more fish while I’m gone

 **good ol’ marge:** lol u drive? What are you, straight?

 **Elenatariat:** she can’t read that her phone is off

 **Sydeoisie:** I won’t b able to text you guys I’ll be on my bike

 **Tommy-Boy:** are we gonna start a competition on who can get there in the gayest vehicle.....

 **moon eyed louisa:** YES

 **Elenatariat:** brb gonna steal my brother's skateboard  
 **Elenatariat:** gonna sk8

 **good ol’ marge:** amateurs... catch me on my Scooter

 **moon eyed louisa:** I’ll be arriving in fashion....  
 **moon eyed louisa:** .... on my TRICYCLE

 **Tommy-Boy:** can u not ride a bike

 **moon eyed louisa:** sry I’m gay I never learned how

 **Tommy-Boy:** sorry gays I’ve got u beat

 **good ol’ marge:** DO YOU?

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m gonna roller skate there

 **Elenatariat:** god....,, Thomas my man does it ever hurt? Being so fuckin valid all the time?!?

 **Tommy-Boy:** yes

 **moon eyed louisa:** ok guys I’m here

 **Elenatariat:** I’m time stamping here... your last text was 12 minutes ago... did it take you only Twelve Minutes to drive to Lush on a TRICYCLE

 **moon eyed louisa:** idk I’m just rly speedy on my trike

 **Sydeoisie:** here! Louisa where are u? Also Elena don’t text and sk8 I need my sk8ter gurl safe

 **Elenatariat:** dw babe I was just taking a breather. 

**moon eyed louisa:** I’m by the bath bombs

 **Sydeoisie:** I see u heading over

 **Coach Dani:** what’s up pronoun squad this lady as just arrived on the premises and do I see? Marge arriving? On zir razor scooter? Indeed

 **good ol’ marge:** scoot scoot motherfuckers

 **Fish Friend:** ok kids I’m in the parking lot,,

 **Coach Dani:** did u drive here? Lame

 **Elenatariat:** Maddie I see you on the other side. Coach?

 **Coach Dani:** yes 

**Elenatariat:** permission to run across the street the second the stoplight turns red to give Maddie a hug?

 **Coach Dani:** Permission Granted

 **Fish Friend:** I can literally see you u don’t need to run. I can just walk over there. Also don’t abandon your skate board.

 **Sydeoisie:** Elena you’re out there? Brb squad gonna kiss my gf

 **Fish Friend:** what if I hug ur gf first

 **Elenatariat:** I dislike this

 **Tommy-Boy:** take turns? Like u can hug her and then Syd can kiss her

 **Fish Friend:** but who FIRST

 **Sydeoisie:** I get gf dibs

 **Elenatariat:** for the record Maddie you’ve missed three crosswalk opportunities over the course of this conversation, and Syd hasn’t even left the store. I think y’all just want to argue

 **Sydeoisie:** I will remedy this

 **Tommy-Boy:** jfc i did not know Syd could run that fast

 **good ol’ marge:** Syd is Sonic the Hedgehog

 **Coach Dani:** Maddie, Syd, and Elena need to walk into the store now,, I’m done with this fake love triangle

 **Fish Friend:** On my way! 

**Coach Dani:** SHIT DON'T JAYWALK  
 **Coach Dani:** WHAT THE FUCK STOP

 **Tommy-Boy:** this is supposed to be a calming adventure for Dani stop doing this to your Coach

 **Elenatariat:** sry

 **Sydeoisie:** I’m not

 **moon eyed louisa:** just come inside u dumbasses

-

 **Tommy-Boy:** this is a call out post

 **good ol’ marge:** Thomas did u go to the bathroom to text this instead of say it out loud like a normal person

 **Tommy-Boy:** yes

 **moon eyed louisa:** I did not buy u Guac for u to spend the whole lunch time in the bathroom texting

 **Tommy-Boy:** FINE I’ll come out  
 **Tommy-Boy:** .....  
 **Tommy-Boy:** For the record I’m sitting on a coming out joke RIGHT NOW but I’m keeping it in for safety

 **Elenatariat:** wait who were you going to call out

 **Tommy-Boy:** you will never know

 **Sydeoisie:** NOOOOO

 **Tommy-Boy:** ;)

-

 **Coach Dani:** where are Syd and Elena

 **Fish Friend:** They are children,, i can’t believe we lost them in a mall like this

 **Tommy-Boy:** Margaux and I are in Yankee Candle... we can look around that area?

 **Coach Dani:** idk they were just in H &M with us idk where they went

 **moon eyed louisa:** maybe they’re just getting something? They mentioned wanting boba tea earlier?

 **Fish Friend:** that’s probably it

 **Coach Dani:** nvm I found them, they were just in the store next door

 **Sydeoisie:** I can confirm, I’ve got proof of life  
 **Sydeoisie:** yeah Elena got a really cool scarf

 

**WE DEM BOISSSS**

**good ol’ marge:** get SOME

 **Coach Dani:** Wait a sec? I don’t get it

_**good ol’ marge** added **Fish Friend** and **moon eyed louisa** to the chat_

**good ol’ marge:** this is the chat we made back when we were trying to get Syd and Elena together

 **Tommy-Boy:** so why u bringing it back?

 **good ol’ marge:** because that was shady as hell

 **moon eyed louisa:** whomst?

 **good ol’ marge:** is it not..... suspect to you..... that they disappeared and came back....... with a Scarf. Does that not??? Ring any bells?

 **Fish Friend:** I get what you’re saying I just don’t want to think about it

 **Coach Dani:** oh my god are u insinuating that they made out in the Forever 21 dressing room??? To the extent they had to buy a scarf to cover?? Elena's hickeys(?)??

 **good ol’ marge:** that is exactly what I’m insinuating

 **Tommy-Boy:** can we stop talking about this 

**Fish Friend:** I will play detective,, no more speculation I will find OUT

 **Coach Dani:** chaotic gays

-

**pronoun squad**

**Coach Dani:** afternoon? Completed. Dinner? Yeah

 **Fish Friend:** Dani are u too tired to drive? U can nap in the back of my car?

 **Tommy-Boy:** I can drive ur car and put the skates in the back, Im licensed

 **Coach Dani:** thx babe please do that

 **Sydeoisie:** where are we going to for dinner?

 **Elenatariat:** the Alvarez house is always ready for some gays

 **Tommy-Boy:** yeah I’m not out to my mom so she probably isn’t ready handle all this gayness at once

 **Sydeoisie:** Alvarez house it is!! I love their couch

 **Fish Friend:** it’s a plan! DM me the address

 **Elenatariat:** will do

-

**WE DEM BOISSSS**

**Fish Friend:** so I solved the scarf mystery

 **Coach Dani:** Whatd u find out

 **Fish Friend:** Elena took the scarf off for a sec, and there were,,, a bunch of marks, so I was like "yo ur hickeys are showing" and she looked me dead in the eyes and said "I know."

 **Tommy-Boy:** Elena is gonna b president one day

 **moon eyed louisa:** I sure hope so, I trust no one else

-

**pronoun squad**

**Coach Dani:** ok squad I’m home safe

 **Tommy-Boy:** thx for telling us! U were so tired I was a bit worried

 **Coach Dani:** guys can I be sappy rl quick

 **moon eyed louisa:** sure babe

 **Coach Dani:** This has been a really tough breakup and this was a really fun way to get out of those blues?? I love y’all and I’m so glad ur in my life

 **Tommy-Boy:** ur a light in my life famsquad

 **Coach Dani:** I’m gonna cry why would you call me famsquad now

 **Tommy-Boy:** I call people that to diffuse emotional tension  
 **Tommy-Boy:** one time I called my teacher that when I was asking for a retake of a test I bombed

 **Sydeoisie:** <3

 **Elenatariat:** Gay night on the town   
**Elenatariat:** Gay! NIGHT.! On the TOW N!!!

 **Fish Friend:** GAY NIGHT ON THE TOWN

 **Coach Dani:** y’all are dorks I love u all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! It’s been a really long week at school, so if u want to sweeten up my weekend a little bit, feel free to leave a comment! As always, Thanks for reading! You can check out my tumblr (and my ask box that is always ready for questions and requests) @thesubtextmachine.


	16. Wanna find out

**[pronoun squad]**

**Sydeoisie:** kljwdavffk I’m a gay

 **Fish Friend:** what’d Elena do

 **Sydeoisie:** sent me a selfie

 **good ol’ marge:** Oh My God You Absolute Nerd

 **Tommy-Boy:** Mission accomplished

 **Elenatariat:** whomst? Mission?

 **Coach Dani:** yeah lol we tried to set up up

 **Elenatariat:** W H E N

 **Sydeoisie:** yeah this is new to me???

 **Fish Friend:** storytime! Storytime! Storytime!

 **good ol’ marge:** I AM THE REASON SYLENA EXISTS?!?! NOT CLICKBAIT

 **Tommy-Boy:** GAY CHALLENGE GONE WRONG GONE RIGHT GONE ABSOLUTELY HECKIN WACKY

 **moon eyed louisa:** so there was a setting up?

 **Coach Dani:** yeah we started a gc about it and they managed it on their own but we certainly TRIED

 **Tommy-Boy:** never forget.... WE DEM BOISSSS

 **Sydeoisie:** WAIT  
 **Sydeoisie:** THATS WHA THATS FROM  
 **Sydeoisie:** YOU WERE SO MYSTERIOUS

 **Coach Dani:** we  
 **Coach Dani:** dem  
 **Coach Dani:** boissss

 **good ol’ marge:** four "s"s, no shame, just love

 **moon eyed louisa:** we dem gayz

 **good ol’ marge:** wow we really out here, being gay and out here

 **Tommy-Boy:** true true but I have one more question 

**moon eyed louisa:** I probably can’t answer but shoot

 **Tommy-Boy:** are there an other secret chats?

 **good ol’ marge:** none that ur not in.... there’s this one, we dem boissss, Gay disaster, and day gisaster?? I don’t think there were more

 **Sydeoisie:** NO DONT BRING GAY DIDASTER INTO THIS

 **Elenatariat:** babe???

 **Sydeoisie:** Listen I may have made a chat about how much I liked u before we got together

 **Elenatariat:** lol whatta nerd   
**Elenatariat:** I’m a nerd too tho that was the exact content of day gisaster 

**Coach Dani:** haha I really hoodwinked u by telling u it was my band name 

**Tommy-Boy:** how could we ever doubt Koalamydia

 **Coach Dani:** lol we changed the name tho, we're called Guilt Free now

 **moon eyed louisa:** speaking of ur band,, you mentioned that u wrote a song for me

 **Coach Dani:** mooooony eyed louiiiiiieeeessaaa, shining bright and free

 **moon eyed louisa:** is that a lyric

 **Coach Dani:** ye 

**Sydeoisie:** what’s my song

 **Coach Dani:** i can’t do the song breakdown for everyone in the chat it would simply be inefficient

 **Tommy-Boy:** Police I would like to Report a Homophobia

 **good ol’ marge:** just tell us the song titles plsss

 **Coach Dani:** I can’t just spoil our first album like that

 **Fish Friend:** SPOLIERS PLS

 **Elenatariat:** spoliers 

**Fish Friend:** end the h8.......

 **Coach Dani:** Maddi your song is ****** *****

 **Fish Friend:** thanks I hate it

 **good ol’ marge:** Listen Dani u know Jenna?!?

 **Coach Dani:** our drummer??

 **good ol’ marge:** Jenna and I have been texting 4 weeks I will ask them if u can spoil the titles and I know they’ll say yes 

**Coach Dani:** u seem awfully confident,,, 

**good ol’ marge:** yeah bc they already told me my song title 

**Coach Dani:** J E N N A I SHOULDVE KNOWN

 **good ol’ marge:** sorry for being a hottie 

**moon eyed louisa:** what’s ur song name

 **good ol’ marge:** ;) I don’t wanna ;) spoil it ;)

 **Fish Friend:** disgusting

 **good ol’ marge:** it’s "guilty" btw I can’t afford to b coy it messes with my brand

 **Tommy-Boy:** god forbid Margeaux "I have a kink for hairy legs that look like chicken wings" Johnson mess with zir brand

 **good ol’ marge:** you can’t just..... remember the dumb shit I say

 **Fish Friend:** but I do it all the time

 **good ol’ marge:** stop the h8, Maddie

 **Coach Dani:** ok I asked Jenna so Margeaux couldn’t do it first and they gave me the go ahead so are u guys ready

 **Fish Friend:** tell me mine first bc u blocked it out

 **Coach Dani:** "Making Plans"

 **Fish Friend:** nice

 **Coach Dani:** Thomas is still "Sun Rain" and Elena is "Flags Waving"

 **Sydeoisie:** we need mine and your own and then the title bowl is complete

 **Coach Dani:** Syd is "Petal Pusher" and I’m "Point of View"

 **Elenatariat:** This gang really is complete,, we’ve made a whole EP

 **Coach Dani:** the ep is called "Whole Squad's Here" for the record

 **good ol’ marge:** if I can’t listen to it on Spotify I’m gonna Sue

 **Sydeoisie:** we'll find a way

 **Tommy-Boy:** I  <3 u guyz 

**Elenatariat:** sidebar: I really enjoy the ongoing devolution of our syntax as a collective.

 **Sydeoisie:** she smurt  
 **Sydeoisie:** smart

 **Tommy-Boy:** in this house we disrespect the rules of syntax 

**good ol’ marge:** syntax? More like SINtax

 **moon eyed louisa:** u talk to ur english teacher with that mouth???

 **good ol’ marge:** YEAH I Do, I fuckin RAP in my english class when I’m debating with a fuckboy

 **Coach Dani:** What.

 **good ol’ marge:** some guy will say something about the American Dream and I’ll just say "someone drop a beat" and then I’ll do a quick freestyle

 **Fish Friend:** u genuinely terrify me

 **Tommy-Boy:** god what a power move

 **Elenatariat:** are you?? A good??? Rapper??

 **good ol’ marge:** wanna find out

 **Coach Dani:** I have never been as petrified as I am in this very moment

 **Fish Friend:** How do You Do It

 **good ol’ marge:** do you want to find out, ma'am?

 **Tommy-Boy:** I will end you personally if you do not stop

 **good ol’ marge:** DROP A BEAT

 **Sydeoisie:** boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats 

**Coach Dani:** why hasn’t ze done zir rap I’ve been staring at the screen for five minutes

 **Elenatariat:** pls provide us with your sweet, nourishing rapz 

**good ol’ marge:** sry I got caught up in something

 **moon eyed louisa:** what's more important than your rapz???

 **good ol’ marge:** Wanna Find Out????

 **Fish Friend:** Yes

 **good ol’ marge:** I just got asked out by Jenna, officially

 **Coach Dani:** eyyy get SOME

 **good ol’ marge:** I said no

 **Sydeoisie:** why it sounded like u liked them

 **good ol’ marge:** idk i just? I don’t even know I just know that we won’t work out and I don’t want to jeopardize my friendship with Dani

 **Elenatariat:** u know?

 **good ol’ marge:** I got some vibes that they still liked their ex and i was a bit of a rebound and all that but I still feel shitty about it

 **Coach Dani:** marge I love u and I support u

 **good ol’ marge:** god sorry for being the angsty one I can be funny again I just need some time

 **Sydeoisie:** you don’t need to be funny all the time! You can be human and sad sometimes and happy sometimes and that’s just how it be,, I treasure you and your ups and downs

 **good ol’ marge:** I love y’all too I think I’m gonna take a nap 

**Tommy-Boy:** ok,, my good friend, please sleep safe  
 **Tommy-Boy:** u sleeping

 **Coach Dani:** I’m gonna take no response as a "yes"

 **Fish Friend:** let’s plan a nice surprise about how much we love zir?

 **Elenatariat:** YES

 **Sydeoisie:** how long until the nap is over

 **Tommy-Boy:** wanna find out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the home stretch folks.... I have three chapters after this planned out before this series concludes. Please comment if you enjoyed, and feel free to check out my tumblr @thesubtextmachine!


	17. Wiles

**[pronoun squad]**

**good ol’ marge:** yoooo I just woke up what’s my surprise

 **Tommy-Boy:** that we love u and made u a friendship bracelet

 **good ol’ marge:** WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE

 **moon eyed louisa:** you’ll see it in person...

 **Coach Dani:** that’s right b you can see it when u go to the bday party that I’m inviting u to

 **good ol’ marge:** Bday party? I’m interested

 **Fish Friend:** yeah Dani is turning.... drumroll please... 17  
 **Fish Friend:** so we're gonna have the rockingest celebration 

**good ol’ marge:** there’s gonna be so many gay people in that room can u handle it

 **Fish Friend:** I was born gay AND ready

 **Tommy-Boy:** me whenever I walk into a roller rink

 **good ol’ marge:** wait so who is making the friendship bracelet

 **Tommy-Boy:** me

 **Coach Dani:** ME

 **Sydeoisie:** Me!! :)

 **Elenatariat:** me, of course

 **Fish Friend:** M E

 **moon eyed louisa:** meeeee

 **good ol’ marge:** did y’all coordinate this at all

 **Coach Dani:** it’s very hard to conduct business while spending half of the time worrying that you would wake up at any moment

 **good ol’ marge:** .....well who am I to turn down 7 friendship bracelets. I can layer them like SillyBandz

 **moon eyed louisa:** that’s blasphemy we can ever make them look as a shitton of sillybandz piled up on an arm

 **Fish Friend:** I love how u just say AN ARM... like any arm will work

 **moon eyed louisa:** I will not retract my statement

 **Elenatariat:** AGH now I’m just imagining a dog who's arm is fuckin STACKED with sillybandz

 **Sydeoisie:** wanna go next level babe?

 **Elenatariat:** YES

 **Coach Dani:** keep it on PM

 **Sydeoisie:** pile it on a lizard's lil arm  
 **Sydeoisie:** also STOP!,

 **moon eyed louisa:** elena: hi syd   
**moon eyed louisa:** us: omg keep it on pm 

**Sydeoisie:** homophobia is real

 **Elenatariat:** Dani  
 **Elenatariat:** how dare u

 **Fish Friend:** how Dani u

 **Elenatariat:** u right u right

 **Fish Friend:** I can’t find the blushing emoji but if I could I’d be using it rn

 **Tommy-Boy:** stop trying to steal Syd's girl

 **moon eyed louisa:** this is not the 50s, Thomas, wake up and smell the instagram

 **good ol’ marge:** y'all're all over the place on this fine night

 **Coach Dani:** nah I’m just in my house

 **moon eyed louisa:** u know where I’m not? A SOCKHOP, dancing to SONGS from JUKEBOXES

 **Tommy-Boy:** damn I really struck a nerve

 **Elenatariat:** tonight? We go to the sockhop

 **Sydeoisie:** agh you’d look so cute in a leather jacket, all greaser style

 **Elenatariat:** omg..... are u thinking what I’m thinking...

 **Sydeoisie:** depends.. what are you thinking?

 **Elenatariat:** Halloween. You. Me. Grease.

 **Coach Dani:** grease? Keep ur oily selves on PM I don’t need that in my life

 **Elenatariat:** no... like... the musical

 **Coach Dani:** lol I’ve never seen it?

 **Tommy-Boy:** what?  
 **Tommy-Boy:** I mean I’m not the biggest fan of it but h ow??

 **good ol’ marge:** Hmmmmmmmmmm do we need to all watch grease together

 **moon eyed louisa:** NOPE. THE FIFTIES??? WE ARE NOT FUCKING WITH THAT TONIGHT

 **Elenatariat:** there is............ so much to unpack here.

 **Sydeoisie:** let’s pivot to something that has nothing to do with poodle skirts

 **Fish Friend:** I have news  
 **Fish Friend:** no wait nvm wrong chat

 **good ol’ marge:** spill

 **Tommy-Boy:** ya what were you going to text

 **Fish Friend:** I’m not,,, Gonna divulge my actions in other group chats

 **moon eyed louisa:** what if I asked rly nicely

 **Fish Friend:** no

 **Sydeoisie:** could I sweet talk u into it

 **Elenatariat:** you are a taken woman, Syd

 **Sydeoisie:** I know but I can use my wiles

 **Elenatariat:** they are good wiles

 **Fish Friend:** I will tell u what I was saying if you promise to stop right now

 **Sydeoisie:** deal

 **Fish Friend:** I was just saying "I have news", and I was following it up with "I’m a dumbass"

 **Tommy-Boy:** that’s valid but why didn’t u just,, tell us

 **Fish Friend:** idk

 **good ol’ marge:** hmmmmmmmmmm

 **Fish Friend:** wot?

 **Sydeoisie:** what did u just say

 **good ol’ marge:** let me break this down, detective style

 **Coach Dani:** ol' ol'

 **good ol’ marge:** u make a mistake... text us something that’s vague... then u freak out, someone here wasn’t supposed to see that message. We ask you why you didn’t spill, and u try to distract us with a well timed "wot"

 **Tommy-Boy:** yeah that’s a move straight out of my book

 **good ol’ marge:** what are u hiding

 **Fish Friend:** Nothing I swear

 **good ol’ marge:** I’m gonna do some investigating,, I’ll be absent for a while

 **Fish Friend:** oh no

 **Tommy-Boy:** dw ze won’t find anything 

**moon eyed louisa:** yeah,, ze kinda peaked at finding me

 **Sydeoisie:** Yo Maddie u don’t have to tell us anything but if u ever need to talk?

 **Fish Friend:** it’s cool I’m just,,, a dumbass

 **Elenatariat:** considering that u are speaking to the trademarked Disaster Lesbian, I think you have nothing to worry about

 **Tommy-Boy:** yeah,, we are all dumb

 **Sydeoisie:** Are u angsting over anything in particular

 **Fish Friend:** while we've been having this convo I’ve been texting my crush, right??

 **Elenatariat:** ooooOOoh

 **Fish Friend:** And I JUST slipped up

 **Tommy-Boy:** yoikes

 **Fish Friend:** and I didn’t want to tell y’all bc I feel like when my closest friends know there’ll be, like, stakes? And I don’t wanna fuck with that

 **moon eyed louisa:** what is this "slipping up" you refer to

 **Fish Friend:** I sent her a meme about wanting a gf and she talked about how much she loves her gf... what a way to find out

 **Coach Dani:** that’s rough, famsquad

 **Fish Friend:** what did you just call me

 **Coach Dani:** it’s a thing I’m trying out to lighten the tension of a room  
 **Coach Dani:** what do you guys think?

 **Sydeoisie:** I love it. 10/10.

 **Coach Dani:** yeah my physics teacher is also a fan

 **moon eyed louisa:** there are worse things that teachers could answer to

 **Elenatariat:** Totally. One time I jokingly said "dad" and my math teacher answered to it and I just kkskjdisoiruksmmcsk

 **good ol’ marge:** ok I’m back from the investigation and I got nothing

 **Fish Friend:** scroll up

 **good ol’ marge:** Jesus FUCKING CHRIST  
 **good ol’ marge:** I did honest to god programming and u just fell for Syd's wiles???

 **Fish Friend:** Elena was right... they’re pretty good wiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s up.., I love u all and u probably know the drill? I would love a comment! Or two


	18. <3<3<3

**[pronoun squad]**

**Tommy-Boy:** ashjsjmmskzkkksk aghh

 **Fish Friend:** u good?

 **Tommy-Boy:** maybe

 **Sydeoisie:** Hmm? I sense,, something?

 **Coach Dani:** yeah this is a whole ass thing I can tell

 **Elenatariat:** Not even s collection of stuff... this is Some Thing you’ve got here

 **Sydeoisie:** Dani I knew you’d make fun of me but Elena??

 **Elenatariat:** I’m just doing some friendly ribbing here

 **Sydeoisie:** you and I both know that u don’t like ribs

 **good ol’ marge:** Usually I leave stuff like this alone but what the FUCK

 **moon eyed louisa:** yeah I don’t know whether to be concerned or grossed out  
**moon eyed louisa:** or both? Probably both.

 **Sydeoisie:** I don’t have to explain myself to you

 **Coach Dani:** yeah but you SHOULD

 **Fish Friend:** Listen they’ve kept it on PM most of the time, this is just a lil slip up  
**Fish Friend:** and remember why we have the PM rule? To keep us from knowing things we really really don’t want to know  
**Fish Friend:** And I do Not want to know about Elena's thing with ribs. Thank you and goodnight

 **moon eyed louisa:** Maddie’s right but I’m still trrrified. What the fuck does that mean.

 **Sydeoisie:** I won’t tell y’all. Just gonna make that clear right here right now, I will not explain myself to you on this one

 **Elenatariat:** ^^^

 **good ol’ marge:** anyway Thomas? What’s going on

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m uhhhh about to come out to my mom? We're going to dinner tonight, just the two of us, and this is the right time but agghhh I’m so scared

 **moon eyed louisa:** what are u scared of?

 **Tommy-Boy:** the unknown

 **good ol’ marge:** that’s valid as hell I’ll be honest

 **Elenatariat:** do u know where you’re going to dinner? Set the scene for us here

 **Tommy-Boy:** somewhere better than a Taco Bell but not as good as a five star restaurant  
**Tommy-Boy:** so probably like Olive Garden

 **Coach Dani:** coolcoolcool. Do you have any idea what you’re gonna say

 **Tommy-Boy:** no

 **moon eyed louisa:** ok I’m on the debate team give me ur points and I’ll organize them into a good speech

 **Tommy-Boy:** I'm biromantic ace, I’ve always felt this way but now I’m getting the words to describe it, nothing will change big time except I might bring a bf home, and I haven’t told Dad yet but I will when it becomes more urgent

 **Sydeoisie:** urgent?

 **Tommy-Boy:** I don’t live with my dad, and he’s not gonna understand this stuff as easily so I’m gonna wait that one out

 **Elenatariat:** valid valid valid

 **moon eyed louisa:** I’m gonna share a google doc with a speech. What font size do u want

 **Tommy-Boy:** 11pt Times New Roman. Anything else feels weird

 **Fish Friend:** so when are u going to dinner?

 **Tommy-Boy:** 6pm.

 **Fish Friend:** famsquad that’s three hours away why’d u wait so long to tell us

 **Tommy-Boy:** anxiety

 **Sydeoisie:** god that’s a mood

 **Coach Dani:** also worst case scenario, if things go south, I can pick u up and u can stay at my place for as long as u need. This isn’t my first rodeo

 **Elenatariat:** how many people have slept on ur couch after coming out to their parents???

 **Coach Dani:** 3\. 4 if you count me sleeping there bc I came out during movie night and then fell asleep thirty minutes later

 **Tommy-Boy:** thx Coach, I really appreciate it

 **good ol’ marge:** My house Is open too, if Dani has a shitty couch or smth

 **Coach Dani:** how dare u imply that

 **good ol’ marge:** I was trying to be nice and offset it with a roast, sorry u got hurt in the process

 **Elenatariat:** Margeaux: Ilysm but get out of my life lol  
**Elenatariat:** margeaux: you have the biggest heart I’ve ever seen... can’t wait to see that boi get clogged up lol

 **good ol’ marge:** this is blasphemy I don’t punctuate my sentences with lol

 **Tommy-Boy:** u just did

 **Coach Dani:** we all know that marge falls more in the "lel" camp

 **good ol’ marge:** why would u say that you know how I feel???

 **Sydeoisie:** marge is lel, Elena is lmao, Dani is lol, Maddie is LMFAO, Thomas is haha, Louisa is BAHAHAHA, and I’m the laughing crying emoji

 **moon eyed louisa:** that is a very solid read of our energies I’m impressed

 **Tommy-Boy:** Elena how does it feel to be dating a genius?

 **Elenatariat:** it’s nice. They’re so smort 

**Coach Dani:** NO  
**Coach Dani:** WE ARE NOT DOING THAT AGAIN FUCK

 **Tommy-Boy:** I think it would be SMORT to bring it back

 **Elenatariat:** it’s very fun to type. No apologies

 **moon eyed louisa:** smort vs smart. Who would win.

 **Sydeoisie:** Why would they fight, they’re dating???  
**Sydeoisie:** Elena=smart, me=smort

 **Elenatariat:** god I love u

 **Sydeoisie:** no need to call me GOD 

**Fish Friend:** is ur ship name smaort 

**Coach Dani:** I sure hope so

 **moon eyed louisa:** The Smoart ship has sailed

 **Tommy-Boy:** y’all sorry to derail this but what s a good outfit for coming out to my mom in an Olive Garden. I’m getting dressed rn.

 **good ol’ marge:** haha u naked? Send pics lmao

 **Tommy-Boy:** why

 **moon eyed louisa:** dress for the Olive Garden, not for the coming out

 **Fish Friend:** yeah dressing like a biromantic asexual boy is 10x harder than dressing like someone who goes to casual dining restaurants. U can add the other touches later 

**Tommy-Boy:** u right u right

 **Coach Dani:** wait so are we just gonna ignore Marge acting like a fuckboy? 

**Elenatariat:** I have a screenshot of zir texting me "u up?"  
**Elenatariat:** we’ve been ignoring it for a long time

 **Sydeoisie:** Margeaux how many baseball caps do u own

 **good ol’ marge:** I don’t wanna get bullied

 **Tommy-Boy:** 13\. I know this for a fact.

 **good ol’ marge:** haha that is false it’s 14 now. Get #woke Thomas

 **Coach Dani:** how do u know that for a fact?

 **moon eyed louisa:** bc he’s woke? How else

 **Tommy-Boy:** me and margeaux were FaceTiming and ze tried to pile all of them on each other and we kept count

 **good ol’ marge:** yeah I looked like a llama

 **Fish Friend:** I wish I were a llama

 **Sydeoisie:** same hat!  
**Sydeoisie:** baseball hat?

 **Coach Dani:** llamas are too furry for me to be one. I’m more of a giraffe girl myself

 **Elenatariat:** I kinda wanna be a swan? Really long neck AND flight? That’s what I’m talking about

 **Fish Friend:** how take the only good, kinnable animals are the ones with really really long necks

 **moon eyed louisa:** did u just call something kinnable

 **Fish Friend:** do I look like a coward???

 **Tommy-Boy:** I wish I was a human with a really long neck  
**Tommy-Boy:** I wanna be able to bend it and just like, let loose

 **good ol’ marge:** u good fam?

 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m nervous and the thing that calms me down is anatomical horror

 **moon eyed louisa:** that explains your friendship with marge

 **Coach Dani:** yeah suddenly lots of things make sense

 **Elenatariat:** do u have an opinion on a being made entirely of hands? Just a bunch of hands piled on each other?

 **Tommy-Boy:** y’all I’m about to get in the car. Wish me luck. Also I’m a fan of that for sure.

 **moon eyed louisa:** good luck, you’ve got this

**good ol’ marge:** Thomas ur one of my best friends and if u need anything I’m so here for you. Please don’t screenshot.

 **Tommy-Boy:** well ur my best friend, officially, so thx

 **good ol’ marge:** bitch me too the fuck

 **Tommy-Boy:** ur gonna fucking love my friendship bracelet

 **good ol’ marge:** I will. Holy shit ur my best friend? And I’m yours? This never happens to me I’m cryig 

**Tommy-Boy:** don’t cry famsquad, you’ll let ur baseball cap slip

 **good ol’ marge:** STOP IT 

**Sydeoisie:** y’all are so cute. 

**Coach Dani:** text us when u come out to her

 **Tommy-Boy:** will do

 **good ol’ marge:** <3

 **Elenatariat:** omg margeaux being vulnerable is so fuckin wild

 **Sydeoisie:** it really is. But I’m a fan!!

 **Fish Friend:** us? Being vulnerable and loving each other no matter what? It’s more likely than you think

 **Coach Dani:** friendship is.............so important

 **Elenatariat:** I believe in all of u. This is a bonanza of love and I’m supplying the confetti 

**moon eyed louisa:** u know what we should do?

 **Sydeoisie:** virtually hug each other?

 **moon eyed louisa:** yes, but also play DND together

 **Coach Dani:** PLE ASE

 **Sydeoisie:** we gotta, u guys

 **Elenatariat:** can I be real for a second

 **Fish Friend:** of course!!,

 **Elenatariat:** I used to spend so much time alone and I’m glad that this is my life now  
**Elenatariat:** I kinda got used to feeling lonely and thinking that it was all about me being hard to be around but finding people who??. Like me for me??? It’s honestly such a blessing and I love y’all 

**Sydeoisie:** babe I love you from here to the moon and i will shank anyone who doesn’t

 **Coach Dani:** Elena!! BBY! You are good and fun and I’m so glad you’re in my life too!

 **moon eyed louisa:** Love Bonanza!!! 

**Elenatariat:** Syd I love u too. I just want y’all to know what u mean to me, I guess

 **Fish Friend:** u mean so much to me, too. U care so much about me, and u never gave up on finding me and??? I just,,, really care about u guys don’t roast me

 **Tommy-Boy:** Elena ily2  
**Tommy-Boy:** also my mom is cool with it, but a little confused. I kinda blurted it out thirty seconds after we sat down

 **good ol’ marge:** I’m glad!!!

 **Tommy-Boy:** <3

 **Sydeoisie:** I can never send enough heart emojis to convey the way I feel right now  
**Sydeoisie:** but I can certainly try

 **Elenatariat:** DONT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank u for reading this!! We really are in the home stretch.... one chapter left. I love u guys, and feel free to hmu on tumblr @thesubtextmachine, where I take requests and do all sorts of shenanigans. Also comment bc I love those


	19. Sweaty :,)

**pronoun squad**

**Sydeoisie:** hey do y’all remember the whole Spotify thing from when we made this gc? And how it kind made my nickname?

 **Elenatariat:** y’all are gonna love this they told me their idea for the plan yesterday

 **Sydeoisie:** they can’t know I have a favorite, stop

 **Coach Dani:** Considering that one of us if ur gf I think we know who your favorite is

 **Tommy-Boy:** what’s Syd's ""plan""

 **Sydeoisie:** I just got a job at a bookstore, and Elena just got a job at an ice cream shop, so we're both making some bank

 **Elenatariat:** we’ve got some fat stacks, y'know?

 **Sydeoisie:** so we were thinking: what if we all pitched in a bit for a Spotify family account? The ones where everyone has their "spot" that they can listen to, like Netflix profiles? That way y’all don’t have to deal with the janky free version and we can spy on each other's playlists

 **Fish Friend:** idk what this original conversation was but I will pitch in my stipend money that I get for coaching golf

 **Tommy-Boy:** U teach golf

 **Fish Friend:** Yeah. Do you have a problem with that?

 **Tommy-Boy:** woah that was a mood shift

 **Fish Friend:** sry I’m really protective of my sport. I’m very good at it.

 **good ol’ marge:** golf is cool, and so is Syd's idea. This gay family is gonna get a Spotify account. I’m so excited

 **moon eyed louisa:** I’m good as long as u guys don’t judge me for what I listen to

 **Elenatariat:** depends,,, what do you listen to

 **moon eyed louisa:** Do you remember the Disney Channel Original Movie by the name of Starstruck

 **good ol’ marge:** NOOOOOO  
 **good ol’ marge:** THATS THE STRAIGHTEST ONE  
 **good ol’ marge:** WHYYYYY

 **moon eyed louisa:** I just love it. It's so cheesy

 **Sydeoisie:** Alexa, how do I excommunicate someone from a friend group?

 **Tommy-Boy:** u know ur in deep shit when even Syd is roasting u

 **Elenatariat:** yeah they have a very high tolerance for Dumbness (TM) and I am living proof

 **Coach Dani:** what? Elena "my favorite book is a romance novel about a horse with human hands” Alvarez? Being proof? I don’t think so

 **Elenatariat:** I told you that in private

 **Tommy-Boy:** I haven’t felt the urge to kinkshame this strongly since freshman year

 **moon eyed louisa:** what happened in freshman year

 **Tommy-Boy:** one of my friends tried to [redacted]

 **good ol’ marge:** coward

 **Fish Friend:** I Demand To Know

 **Tommy-Boy:** it’s really gross but ok  
 **Tommy-Boy:** do u know those balloons that clowns use to twist into animals?

 **Sydeoisie:** yes??? I’m scared??

 **Tommy-Boy:** my friend pushed it through his nose, out his mouth, got his girlfriend to blow the balloon up a little, right?   
**Tommy-Boy:** and one of my friends got the most embarrassing boner... he was wearing basketball shorts so it was v obvious  
 **Tommy-Boy:** and we all kinkshamed him SO HARD

 **good ol’ marge:** jfc that’s iconic 

**Coach Dani:** I don’t know whether to laugh or cry

 **Elenatariat:** why not both?

 **Coach Dani:** u right u right

 **Sydeoisie:** ANYWAY  
 **Sydeoisie:** BACK TO THE GOOD STUFF

 **good ol’ marge:** we are currently discussing the good stuff

 **moon eyed louisa:** That is Incorrect

 **Sydeoisie:** so I’m trying to set this thing up,,, dm me ur account details if ur already on premium. Idk what I need or don’t need

 **Fish Friend:** I feel like u could be scamming me right now but I trust u so much that I’d give u my social security number without even asking why u need it

 **good ol’ marge:** thats what they all say...........

 **Coach Dani:** whomst?

 **Tommy-Boy:** if this is about ur ""credit card fraud"" thing it’s not as cool as u think it is

 **Elenatariat:** wot

 **Sydeoisie:** I second that "wot"

 **good ol’ marge:** I committed, like, third degree credit card fraud on accident and I like to make jokes about it

 **moon eyed louisa:** I don’t even want to hear the story. I like that one sentence enough.

 **Fish Friend:** yeah same here. 

**Elenatariat:** we're a family, we don’t need to do background checks

 **Coach Dani:** true true. They just let ANYONE be born tbh

 **Tommy-Boy:** everything about Margeaux makes sense now

 **good ol’ marge:** sick burn, bro

 **Fish Friend:** I love my Spotify Family (account)

 **Tommy-Boy:** Syd, any updates?

 **Sydeoisie:** just finagling around the signup stuff. We'll work out payment stuff on dm. It may take a while

 **good ol’ marge:** "Finagle"

 **Fish Friend:** it’s a pretty good word

 **Elenatariat:** like "Finished" and "Eagle"

 **moon eyed louisa:** Finished Eagle would be a good band name

 **Coach Dani:** But is it as good as my band names?

 **good ol’ marge:** ur band is pretty awesome, name wise. Wish we could hear some of the music tho.

 **Coach Dani:** We're still in recording,, you’ll get it soon

 **Elenatariat:** we could put it on Spotify and listen to it there. On our family account

 **moon eyed louisa:** Y E S

 **Sydeoisie:** okay, troubleshooting completed. Our account is on the net. Username: pronounfamily, password: 3lenaAlvar3z1sh0t!

 **Coach Dani:** are u saying that I’m gonna have to type out "Elena Alvarez is hot" every time I wanna listen to music

 **Sydeoisie:** yes

 **Tommy-Boy:** omg big concept.

_**Tommy-Boy** changed the group chat name to **Pronoun Family**_

**Elenatariat:** u frickin fricks I’m gonna cry 

**Tommy-Boy:** haha nerd  
 **Tommy-Boy:** I’m crying too

 **good ol’ marge:** I! Love! Y’all! 

**Coach Dani:** I love my gamily (gay family)

 **moon eyed louisa:** :,)

 **Sydeoisie:** Elena make me stop crying  
 **Sydeoisie:** FaceTime me and do the "we're all in this together" dance again

 **Elenatariat:** is it okay if I’m sobbing the whole time I do it

 **Sydeoisie:** absolutely

 **Elenatariat:** I’ll be there

 **Fish Friend:** We’re ALL IN THIS TO GE THER!!!!

 **Tommy-Boy:** we really are?.?

 **good ol’ marge:** fuck that one got me sweaty in the eyes

 **moon eyed louisa:** :,,,,,,,,) sweat away

 **Coach Dani:** you can sweat in this chat, it’s cool

 **Sydeoisie:** I love my big, crazy, gay family

 **Tommy-Boy:** holy shit

 **Fish Friend:** What?

 **Elenatariat:** ya?

 **Coach Dani:** what’s up?

 **good ol’ marge:** whomst?

 **Tommy-Boy:** "SYD" is one letter away from "STD"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGHDHKDJKJHKGKD I CANNOT BELIEVE,, this has been an amazing journey and I love all of the ride or dies who’ve been commenting regularly and reminding me that people read this.... especially @teatales, @Nightblaze, @Jaden_Ayala (!), @mistyheartrbs, and @RunToStandStill! I know I’m leaving tons of people off this list, and I love u guys too! 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading One Gay at a Time. Leave a comment if u enjoyed, and feel free to check me out on Tumblr @thesubtextmachine, where I do take requests. I also love messaging y’all and just being friends.
> 
> I can’t say thank you enough. Never ending <3 emoticons to all of you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y’all liked it! Leave comments with your opinions, and if u have any hopes for this, please share!! This is fun to write and I can’t wait to make more!


End file.
